Celine Gittens: A Life in Pointe Shoes
Trinidad and Tobago. The very name evokes a sense of rhythm, of swaying palms and the intoxicating sounds of calypso and steelpan music. It is a place of vibrant culture, where dance and movement are woven into the fabric of daily life. This island paradise is also where I, Celine Gittens, was born, my earliest memories tinged with the warmth of the Caribbean sun and the melodies of my grandmother's humming as she rocked me in a hammock.
But there was another world I was drawn to, one I encountered in the quiet moments when I’d curl up on the worn velvet couch in my living room, captivated by flickering black and white television images of dancers with ethereal grace, performing impossibly beautiful stories on stage. Ballet, that was it. My young mind, fuelled by a wild imagination, couldn't comprehend how humans could move with such ethereal grace, but it fuelled my longing for something more, something beautiful beyond compare.
My parents, though skeptical at first, saw the flicker of a passionate spark in my eyes and took a leap of faith. My first dance teacher, Ms. Evelyn Charles, an elegant figure with a steely gaze, became my guide and mentor. I was a whirlwind of energy, a sponge soaking up everything she taught. The discipline and rigor were tough, but the joy of expressing myself through movement was undeniable. Each pirouette, every arabesque, brought a thrill, a sense of accomplishment and wonder. Every drop of sweat was worth it.
As I matured, my talent began to blossom, and so did my thirst for knowledge. It wasn’t enough just to move my body; I yearned to understand the stories behind the movements, the historical context and the emotional weight of each step. I immersed myself in books on dance history, studying the grand ballets of the 19th century and the revolutionary innovations of the 20th century. I devoured biographies of iconic dancers, each life a compelling story of sacrifice, passion and artistry. And as I absorbed these stories, my own began to take shape.
My debut on the stage of the National Academy for the Performing Arts in Trinidad at the age of 13 was a moment I will never forget. I danced as a young Sugar Plum Fairy in Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker, the sheer awe of the audience visible in their mesmerized eyes. It was then I knew my calling was to share the beauty of ballet with the world. To share that experience with an audience, to be part of something that transcended words. I knew then, with absolute clarity, that this was my destiny.
Soon, it wasn't enough just to dance within my island home. The allure of the global dance world called to me. The London Ballet School accepted me, and my next chapter began. I left the warmth of the Caribbean sunshine for the cool fog of England. It was an enormous change. Homesickness was a constant shadow, but my passion kept me moving. The rigor of the training intensified. Every muscle was pushed to its limits. My body learned to withstand the relentless discipline. Every night, exhausted, but exhilarated, I’d collapse in my tiny room, dreaming of a grand stage bathed in a warm light, of audiences captivated by the stories we told. My mind was flooded with images of the great ballets: Swan Lake, Giselle, Sleeping Beauty. They danced inside my head, filling my dreams, driving my ambitions.
The London Ballet School, with its traditions and its history, its renowned teaching and unwavering pursuit of excellence, helped me develop into the artist I was meant to be. I blossomed under the watchful eyes of talented, seasoned teachers. Each lesson honed my skills, sharpening my precision, enriching my expression. It wasn’t just the physical, of course. We learned about storytelling through movement, the nuances of gesture, the art of creating compelling characters, and how to imbue each role with heart. It was a journey of continuous exploration, where the learning never truly stopped.
While in London, my performances caught the eye of a scout from the renowned American Ballet Theatre. The world had become my oyster, the possibilities endless. With the American Ballet Theatre, my dance journey reached another pinnacle. It was like stepping into a dream: the grandeur of the Metropolitan Opera House in New York City, the electric energy of the crowds, the spotlight bathing the stage, the palpable thrill that vibrated through the entire theatre. The opportunities to collaborate with the world’s greatest dancers were countless, an incredible gift for a young ballerina like myself. To learn from their mastery, to absorb their artistry and to be part of a company brimming with such exceptional talent. This is the life I had envisioned, the path I had charted for myself, and the excitement of it all fueled every step I took.
The path of a ballerina, while dazzling on the surface, can be incredibly demanding. It’s not just about pirouettes and arabesques, or beautiful costumes and glamorous parties. There are times of frustration, exhaustion, self-doubt, and an almost unnerving amount of pressure. Yet, I learned to navigate these obstacles, finding solace in the sheer joy of performing, the thrill of every successful jump and landing, and the unwavering support of my fellow dancers, the sisters I found in the dance studio, united by a shared passion and dedication.
In the heart of this relentless pursuit of perfection, I discovered that the true beauty of ballet lay not just in the movements but in the stories it told, in the emotions it evoked, the empathy it fostered. It allowed me to connect with the audience on a deeper level, transcending language and cultural boundaries, uniting us through a shared experience, a silent language understood through the language of movement.
Through my dancing, I've toured the world, encountering diverse cultures and perspectives. The warmth of Italy, the Parisian charm, the artistic energy of Moscow, the vibrant dynamism of Beijing – each performance brought new colours, a fresh perspective, a deeper understanding of my own identity as a performer. The experiences made me aware of the power of art to bridge divides and unite hearts. I have carried this understanding throughout my career, always mindful of the unique position I hold as a communicator of emotions, a conduit of stories, a storyteller through the language of dance.
During my years on stage, I had the incredible honour of being part of the ballet community's fight for greater representation and inclusion. I witnessed firsthand the subtle but pervasive limitations of the ballet world. It wasn't always easy, pushing for change within a system rooted in tradition, yet I knew I had to do my part in making ballet accessible and inclusive to every dreamer, regardless of their background or skin colour. As dancers, we have a platform to speak about important societal issues, to challenge the status quo, and to bring awareness to matters close to our hearts. We are not just performers; we are role models, agents of change, and powerful voices that can make a difference.
As I approached the next phase of my journey, a transition from dancer to something new, I felt a bittersweet ache in my heart. But the memories of every grand jeté, every fouetté, the thunderous applause of audiences, the tears, the joy, the unwavering support from those who walked this path alongside me— those experiences had enriched me beyond measure. And so, with a newfound purpose, I embarked on my second chapter, taking all those valuable lessons with me. My life as a dancer was a journey that continued to teach me, shape me, and leave a permanent mark on my soul. It had opened doors, expanded my understanding of the world, and given me the gift of a unique voice. My next journey wouldn't be in pointe shoes, but the lessons of ballet, the values instilled, the dedication and discipline, would remain woven into the very core of my being.
Stepping Outside the Stage
The end of my dancing career marked a significant shift, but not a complete departure. With a desire to share the stories and experiences of dance, to make its beauty and its complexities accessible to a wider audience, I pursued a path in writing, focusing on dance narratives. I became captivated by the world of publishing and the power of storytelling. The thrill of sharing personal stories, of making complex narratives relatable, was just as satisfying as expressing myself through dance. Writing became a new avenue to explore my creativity and to connect with a wider audience.
My debut novel, "The Pointe Shoes", delves into the life of a young dancer in a small Caribbean island community, her struggles to follow her dream in a society where dance is often dismissed as a frivolous pursuit. It explored the tensions between tradition and innovation, the cultural clash of two worlds, and the fierce determination of a young girl with an unyielding passion for art.
Writing wasn't just a new outlet; it was a journey of rediscovery. It gave me the opportunity to explore a different facet of myself, to delve into the psychology of characters, to develop their narratives, to give voice to unspoken stories. The creative process mirrored the journey I took as a dancer, full of exploration, challenges, and unexpected rewards.
After the success of "The Pointe Shoes," I became more involved in literary events, engaging in dialogues about diversity in the world of dance, challenging traditional narratives, and advocating for greater representation of stories from underrepresented voices. Writing allowed me to make a difference in a different way, using words as my tool to amplify the voices of others.
My commitment to art and creativity broadened, and I took a leap into the realm of mentorship. I started mentoring young dancers, helping them navigate the challenges and the complexities of the dance world. My guidance covered not only technique and performance but also emotional resilience, self-belief, and navigating the often-intense demands of the professional dance world.
Over the years, my focus on social issues and their impact on the world of art deepened. I began to speak more publicly about the need for a more inclusive dance landscape, for equitable opportunities for every dreamer regardless of background. My platform was evolving. It was no longer just about ballet; it became about empowering young artists from diverse communities to realize their dreams.
My story, I believe, resonates with the stories of countless artists – those who dedicate their lives to their art, facing challenges and disappointments, finding beauty amidst struggle, and pushing the boundaries of creativity. I believe my story reflects the experiences of countless other dancers, artists, and dreamers around the world. It speaks to the resilience of the human spirit, the enduring power of art, and the need for unwavering dedication to pursue our passions.
The Legacy Continues
Life for me is a tapestry woven with threads of different passions, each enriching and illuminating the other. Dance remains at the heart of who I am. I still feel a twinge of longing whenever I see dancers gracefully navigate the stage, each movement telling a story, each expression captivating the hearts of the audience.
My legacy may not be on stage, but it is nonetheless rooted in the world of ballet. I will continue to write stories, to nurture the next generation of artists, to amplify underrepresented voices, and to advocate for a world where every artist, regardless of origin or background, has the opportunity to reach for their dreams and contribute to the rich tapestry of art that enriches our lives. For in my heart, the magic of ballet, the beauty of movement, the power of expression, the artistry and the stories told – these continue to inspire and shape my journey, forever a part of me.