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Viviana Durante: A Life in Pointe Shoes

The stage lights were blinding, the scent of rosin heavy in the air, and the hum of the orchestra a symphony of nervous anticipation. At twelve years old, I stood backstage, clutching my tutu, a kaleidoscope of nerves and excitement. This was it, my debut, my first step into the world of ballet, a world I'd dreamed of inhabiting since I was a little girl.

I was born in the heart of Italy, in 1967, a place where the passion for the arts ran deep, where every gesture was an expression, every emotion a story waiting to be told. My mother, a passionate amateur pianist, had filled our home with the sounds of Mozart and Beethoven. I'd spend hours twirling in the living room, mimicking the dancers in the few ballet films we had, my little feet barely reaching the ground. It was a simple, unspoken yearning – a need to translate my emotions into movement, a desire to tell stories with the language of my body.

One day, while watching a performance of Swan Lake at the Teatro dell'Opera di Roma, I knew this was my calling. The power of the story, the ballerina's ethereal grace, and the sheer intensity of emotion on her face captivated me. I was entranced. I pleaded with my mother, my childish insistence impossible to ignore. And so, my journey began. The Teatro dell'Opera became my second home. The scent of polish and leather, the worn wood floor, the whisper of tutus and the hushed excitement before each performance - these were the elements that forged my world. I learned discipline, resilience, and the sheer joy of expression.

Under the watchful eyes of Maestro Francesco, my teacher, I was pushed beyond my limits. The pain of stretching, the burn in my muscles, the frustration of repeated attempts at mastering a single step – these were the hardships that shaped me. He was strict, demanding, and, ultimately, a catalyst in my growth. His belief in me, his unyielding expectation of perfection, drove me to surpass even my own wildest dreams.

I was a prodigy. Talent, combined with sheer determination, quickly propelled me forward. At fifteen, I won the prestigious Danza d'Oro competition. It was a turning point, a validation of my years of tireless dedication. Soon, offers poured in. I was courted by companies across Europe. My journey was taking me further, towards the global stage of professional ballet.

Early Years in the Ballet World

  • In 1984, at seventeen, I joined the renowned Royal Ballet in London. Stepping into the prestigious Covent Garden was like entering another world. The grandeur, the history, the immense expectation - it all fueled my determination.
  • My first performance, a role as a corps de ballet dancer in Swan Lake, was met with an eruption of applause. My movements, my strength, and my elegance made me a stand-out, catching the attention of leading choreographers and directors.
  • I ascended the ranks with lightning speed. My debut as Odette/Odile in Swan Lake in 1988 was hailed a triumph. My portrayal of the duality of the character - the innocent Swan Queen and the seductive Black Swan - was described as breathtaking, my control of both strength and fluidity hailed as extraordinary.
  • In the years that followed, I rose to the top, performing principal roles in masterpieces like The Nutcracker, Giselle, La Bayadère, and Don Quixote. I relished the complexity of each role, each telling a unique story.

But ballet was more than just pirouettes and grand jetés. It was an embodiment of human emotions, of triumphs and tragedies, of love, loss, and resilience. I found myself drawn to roles that offered an opportunity to delve deeper into the human psyche.

Breaking New Ground: Collaboration and Creativity

I always strived to push the boundaries of traditional ballet. My innate ability to capture the nuance of each role, coupled with a restless desire for artistic innovation, led me to collaborations with some of the most esteemed modern choreographers of our time.

My partnership with Mikhail Fokin was an extraordinary one. His innovative choreographies, infused with the passion of Russian ballet, ignited my own desire to break from the confines of classical forms. His choreography for Stravinsky’s “The Rite of Spring” became a defining moment in my career, showcasing my versatility and expressive range. My portrayal of the young, ritualistic dancer, embodying both innocence and raw primal energy, earned me critical acclaim and a legion of fans worldwide.

Another landmark moment was my collaboration with Jerome Robbins. His work was imbued with a raw, American energy, an almost cinematic approach to ballet that pushed my understanding of storytelling on stage. We collaborated on several pieces, including his reinterpretation of “West Side Story.” The powerful storytelling of the work, my portrayal of Maria, and the synergy of movement and music created a mesmerizing and enduring experience.

These collaborations helped me hone my ability to transcend the constraints of classical ballet, to express a range of emotions that went beyond traditional narrative. My ability to blend the precision and control of classical technique with the raw passion and storytelling power of modern dance was my greatest strength, my unique contribution to the art.

A Passion Beyond Performance: Embracing Writing

I’ve always loved the written word, the ability to capture a moment, a feeling, and transform it into something tangible. While my dance career thrived, I nurtured this parallel passion, a quiet retreat from the dazzling world of performance. I started keeping a journal, a collection of observations, reflections, and unspoken dreams.

Over time, this journal morphed into a collection of short stories, snippets of experiences, and musings on the ephemeral nature of dance and art. I found that words, like the steps I choreographed on stage, provided an outlet for my emotions, an opportunity to delve into the world beyond the ballerina’s facade.

In the mid-1990s, as my dance career reached its peak, I found myself drawn to exploring the creative potential of storytelling beyond the stage. My first short story was published in a literary journal in London. This was followed by others, a series of introspective tales that garnered positive reviews. I even dabbled in writing about the ballet world, creating short fictional narratives exploring the emotions and conflicts faced by young dancers, themes I'd lived through firsthand.

It was during this period that my book, "The Pointe Shoes' Lament," took shape. I poured my years of experience, the trials and tribulations, the triumphs and heartbreaks, into the narrative, weaving together fictional elements with glimpses of my own journey. It wasn't an autobiography, but a collection of narratives drawn from a life spent in dance, a homage to the emotional rollercoaster that was ballet, told from a unique perspective.

Facing the Inevitable: Moving Beyond Ballet

I reached the pinnacle of my dance career. The world was at my feet, the adoration of audiences a palpable energy, the recognition of critics a powerful confirmation of my talent. Yet, the demands of the stage took a toll. My body, once a graceful vessel of artistic expression, began to wear down. Injuries, the relentless demands of the rigorous training regime, and the passing of time forced me to acknowledge the inevitable – a day would come when my body would no longer be able to meet the demands of the performance.

At 36, a poignant and challenging moment for any dancer, I made the decision to retire. The thought was initially frightening. Ballet had been my life, my entire identity. The thought of a world without pirouettes, fouetté, and grand jetés filled me with a sense of loss, a feeling of relinquishing a part of myself.

However, this moment of transition also unveiled a sense of liberation. With the pressures of performing released, a new door opened, allowing my writing to take centre stage. I focused my attention on completing my manuscript, crafting a story that would honour my life, a world of elegance, artistry, and human struggles I had embodied on stage, translated onto paper.

The release of "The Pointe Shoes’ Lament" was a watershed moment. It was well received, praised for its authentic portrayal of the ballet world and its exploration of the complexities of ambition, dedication, and self-discovery. Critics described my writing as poignant, moving, and full of grace, qualities that I’d always sought to embody as a dancer.

The Legacy of Dance: A Journey of Exploration

My transition from dancer to writer has allowed me to embrace new forms of expression. I've had the opportunity to connect with audiences in a new way, to share my perspectives and my experiences through the written word. Writing, for me, is an extension of the artistry I discovered on stage.

It's an evolution, a progression from telling stories through my body to crafting tales with language. My years as a ballerina continue to inspire me, influencing my approach to writing, instilling a sense of discipline and demanding a commitment to exploring the human experience with depth and honesty.

As I look back at my journey, from the child in the living room mimicking ballerinas to the celebrated dancer and now, a writer with a new stage to conquer, I feel an immense sense of gratitude. Ballet gave me the world, nurtured my talent, and challenged me in ways I could never have imagined. My life is a testament to the beauty, the strength, and the endless potential that lie within every passionate pursuit.

My journey has taught me that life is a performance, an ever-evolving story. Every role we embrace, every passion we cultivate, adds another dimension to our tale. My hope is that through my dance, my writings, and my life, I have touched the hearts of those who have witnessed my story. For that, I will forever be grateful.