Oh darling!

Oh darling!

Have you heard the thrilling news, dears? The extraordinary ballet sensation, Le Ballet du Fantastique, is set to grace the hallowed halls of Hayes Theatre, right here in our very own, shall we say, rather delightful suburban metropolis! Get ready, darling, to have your very senses sent into a dizzying spiral of sheer, unadulterated delight. We're talking twirls that will make your head spin, leaps that would make even a startled gazelle gasp, and a spectacle so breathtaking you'll forget where you put your little diamond encrusted cigarette lighter! It's about time Hayes had a little bit of je ne sais quoi in its cultural repertoire, don't you think? We simply cannot miss this!

I must tell you, the rumour mill has been spinning like a whirling dervish ever since Le Ballet du Fantastique announced its arrival. I heard from a *very* reliable source - you know, someone with very strong ties to the Parisian ballet scene and a closet brimming with Chanel - that the ballet features a brand-new and completely outlandish story line.

Imagine! It's an immersive tale of a magical mirror, a forlorn prince yearning for his beloved (let's face it, every ballerina has at least *one* brooding, heartbroken prince on the back burner!) and, oh dear, *dances* so inventive they will send a jolt of artistic adrenaline straight into your heart! Let’s face it: A magical mirror, a despondent prince? How can it *possibly* be bad?

Oh, and dear darling, the tutus! The **tutus**! They are, I must say, absolutely to *die* for! Every shade you can imagine, all adorned with embellishments and rhinestones you could *never* dream of! And that tulle, it’s a delight! A whisper-soft swirl of heavenly material, darling! They simply do *not* make them like they used to, you know! Just as well that our dear *Le Ballet du Fantastique* is here to show us how it’s done!

Of course, we simply *must* discuss the dancers, darling! I have heard through the grapevine, and from the latest ballet blogs, of course, that they are truly *elite*. From all four corners of the world they come! Each one, an absolute star! So graceful, darling! Such strength! It’s truly quite shocking how a being with such fragile bones can leap with so much strength and poise!

The male dancers are a sight to behold! They simply radiate that *unadulterated masculinity* you rarely find in men these days! And oh, those *long, elegant legs* - don’t you just want to simply melt right into their arms?! It's simply intoxicating! Their every step is filled with passion and, if we’re honest, a touch of that Parisian, let’s say “flair”. Of course, they must have chosen their *special* dancer to be the prince! (Oh how I’ve always *wanted* to be swept away by a prince! But they always seem to choose the *fairest*, never someone like us…)

Now, you may be asking yourself, darling: *How can I experience this magic, this ballet sensation first-hand? * Fear not! Tickets are already on sale and disappearing faster than a stolen croissant at a French café! So hurry! This ballet extravaganza is just around the corner.

Oh, darling! Can't wait to be reunited in Hayes, adorned in our most magnificent ensembles! We'll gather around, sipping cocktails and watching our favourite ballet. Don't forget your opera glasses and your fanciest pair of kitten heels. Now that's what I call *living*, darling.

Let's make this happen, darlings!

Here's the inside scoop:

• Premiere date: Saturday, August 12th, at 7pm
• Ticket availability: They’re flying off the shelves like a pair of brand new Louboutin shoes! Don’t miss out, darling. Book your tickets via (link).
• Parking: Darling, you wouldn't want to miss a single moment of this masterpiece for a parking hassle! Do allow plenty of time for parking. It’s best to *drive in a style*, darling, you simply *can't* let these boring Hayes denizens *steal your thunder*.
• What to wear? I expect an absolutely *knock-out* look from all of us darling, but as it’s *ballet*, let’s err on the side of elegance. If you are looking for some inspiration darling, I highly recommend the *Haute Couture section* of *Harrods*. They have the best designers in town - you *really* can’t go wrong. You might want to avoid a bright colour, something understated, darling. (Like, well… me!) And of course, the higher the heel, the more fabulous your life!
• Be sure to snap a picture of the tutus! A must have, you know, for *social media*, especially if they’re *pink*.
• Get your nails done! Darling, don’t think I missed that you just got a mani-pedi. It looks absolutely lovely! ( I have the *perfect* nail tech! You know, right around the corner by the vintage store?)

It’s *very* hard to avoid falling head-over-heels for *Le Ballet du Fantastique*. It has absolutely *everything*. I'd say we've found our very own fairy tale, right here in Hayes! I can't wait to hear your reactions. Don’t you dare let your inner *prima ballerina* down. I look forward to a *fantastic* time with you at Hayes Theatre!

And oh, darling! You *know* you want to grab a bouquet for the dancers…