Town of Dreams.

Oh darling, prepare yourselves for an evening of utter transcendence! The "Royal Academy of Performing Arts" is about to grace us with their spectacular production of *Swan Lake*, but with a delightful twist! You see, dear reader, it is set to be staged, yes, you heard me right, in none other than... Newton Aycliffe!

Yes, darling, you know, that very quaint, very much *not* known for its ballet scene, "Town of Dreams." Now, I understand you might be thinking "Newton Aycliffe...Swan Lake?!," and dearie, so did I. This production is sure to turn some heads and I daresay, a few feathers!

Speaking of feathers...Oh, my darling, the tutus! These aren't your dainty, pristine little frills that you'd find pirouetting on the hallowed stages of Covent Garden. These are tutus, my lovelies, fit for a queen, but with a slight *rustic* edge. They've apparently sourced a rather delightful material called "DuraWeave," some sort of incredible fabric they claim is both *completely waterproof* and *guarantees to repel mud! * The rumour mill suggests this might have been prompted by a rather amusing mishap last season during an outdoor performance, apparently a rather forceful gust of wind sent an entire row of swans, erm, *sprawling*, let's say, on the floor! Now, darling, that, wouldn't do!

Speaking of "not doing," let's delve deeper into the artistic direction of the *whole* thing, darling. We're talking a production of *Swan Lake* set in the rather "ethereal" setting of the local shopping precinct, apparently to be rebranded for the night as "Lake Acle" ...oh, and can we discuss the "swan" costumes? I must confess, darlings, that a rumour doing the rounds claims that the production team "repurposed" some discarded polystyrene swans, originally designed for a rather... ummm... *interesting* themed children's birthday party that "unfortunately" never quite came off. Let's just say I am eagerly anticipating a whole new "brand" of ballet aesthetic!

Oh, and darlings, let's not forget the music! From what I've gathered, they've somehow managed to get a small, "very talented," and apparently "unpaid," local youth orchestra, whose "forte" seems to be, quite charmingly, heavy metal to play alongside Tchaikovsky, in what is being billed as a "tribute" to "classic" *Swan Lake*, only, with...*that certain something.* Dare I say I anticipate a new age of "balletic rock opera"? I am simply giddy with excitement!

Now, darlings, let's have a moment of reflection on this "tribute" to ballet in Newton Aycliffe. Some will see it as "unconventional," "daring" even, but, as a seasoned aficionado, my lovelies, I simply cannot resist this unique spectacle! This is our "un-cultured pearl" if you will, ready to shine. It's the kind of creative initiative that *requires* a bit of faith, and darling, we must be willing to open our minds and our hearts, even when they might be suggesting "an evening at the cinema, " to the beauty that might surprise us. Isn't that what the magic of ballet is all about? To break free from tradition and to embrace the unexpected.

So darling, come what may, my "ballet butterflies," let us flutter into the "unforeseen," and take our seats. It will be an evening you shall never, *ever*, forget! Oh, and don't forget the tissues. If those youth orchestra metal riffs are anything like the rumours suggest, the *Swan Lake* ending is going to be very, *very*, intense. I am bracing myself with several boxes, and a large flask of "courage-juice", but please, darlings, you are welcome to use my cloak if you feel the need!

However, I have been given an *exclusive sneak peak* into the details, and *my lovelies,* it is certainly worth your while! It is with much, *much* excitement that I share some juicy little snippets of information, for your pure and exquisite pleasure, that will make this little "local affair" an experience to cherish!

Now, before you pop off to see the most dramatic ballet of all, read on!

Darling, you know me. Always the fashion enthusiast! You want the lowdown on *what* to wear? Oh, I say, dear reader, that's what I am here for!

Look No.1 - "The Ballet Bunny"

My love, I daresay you will be perfectly "at one" with the local crowd by rocking this sophisticated but decidedly "easy-going" number!

• Think *pale pink*, darling! Channel a bit of those charming pastel hues of *spring time!*
• Now, for this look to *really* hit the spot, a touch of "fluffy," think those "adorable," "must-have" knitwear items!
• Oh darling, imagine, *if you will*, some oh-so "pretty," "pleated," pleated skirt to make sure you have enough movement to truly get *into* those *Swan Lake* ballet poses, if you happen to feel inspired... and darling, let's be honest, you will!
• I do, however, suggest a touch of "glam", with a simple pearl necklace... and those ballet pumps in that exquisite soft "nude," but perhaps with a sparkly gem-studded toe cap? That'll give you a touch of "modern", *don't you think*... but darling, don't go overboard, let it be *subtle*, you know I prefer "effortlessly chic"!

Look No.2 - "The Ballet Siren"

This, my dears, is a touch "fiery" and ready to *enchant* those gathered.

• Think "black velvet", darling... a *statement*. The look oozes "enigmatic sophistication".
• I simply *must* recommend a "pencil" skirt, as, I believe the movement of the "swans" is best mimicked with this *effortlessly elegant* item!
• Darling, "drama"! "drama!" You can never have too much when the *Swan Lake* magic is swirling! A *long* scarf... think flowing chiffon! Let those colors flow! A splash of colour in what can otherwise be *too* much black.
• I'm dreaming of a touch of emerald green, for the sake of the "swans." Now you'll be "one" with the dance, my darling! But make sure it's *long* enough to whip and *swish* in all the *right* ways... You'll be like a little "serpent" of the theatre!
• A delicate pendant necklace would complete the ensemble... Just make sure it's "chunky" and has an interesting pattern, think like the feather-duster-cum-feather-pattern design of, I don't know... an elaborate *Swan Lake* stage prop, dare I say!
• Oh darling, don't you dare forget, you will need "black" heeled ankle boots... You need the confidence that this outfit *requires*, to grace your way around Newton Aycliffe and make your entrance at "Lake Acle"!

Look No. 3 - "The Ballet Belle"

My darling, if you're wanting to exude pure *refinement*, then "the Ballet Belle" is what your look needs!

• Think, my lovelies, "cream silk"... so delicate and soft... yet "powerful".
• And that dress, darlings, *must* be *long*. For me, I'm envisioning the very best sort of "pleated maxi dress," in a beautiful silk or even "brocade". Think the "elegant swan" we know and love!
• But to really create that *"effortless chic* vibe that is *so* vital when navigating "The Town of Dreams", a statement jacket... Think a bold yet understated colour, darlings! Think midnight blue or even an *inky* teal, to "complement" the swans.
• And for those *special* occasions, a little black *beret*. You will be an enigmatic ballerina! A real touch of "mystery and magic"! The "Swan Lake" in the heart of Newton Aycliffe? Absolutely divine, darlings! But if the wind decides to "whirly-gig", maybe just opt for a "simple headband"?
• Darling, this look wouldn't be complete without the most "opulent" heels. Think *statement stilettos*, the colour of the evening's twilight, *grey*. You need those *tall* heels to emulate the dancers, darling. A graceful *pose* and the right shoe makes *all* the difference!

You are all going to look simply fabulous! Darling! Now, here is where you need to keep that notebook handy!

• If, you darling, feel brave enough to *join in*... with some swan dance moves during the performance... it might be best if you "don't" eat much that evening. The "Polystyrene Swan" costume, we are told, will leave you feeling somewhat "tight", and quite frankly, "crammed in."
• You need to be aware of your *surroundings*, as we're being promised "special effects." Oh, and apparently they've *ordered* the very *latest* in sound effects! There is the possibility, of let's say... a few "near misses" from the "spraying water fountain," the "mistletoe," which we're promised "a *special feature*" that's quite *magical*, *actually*. There have been concerns about the sound effects making an unmentionable part of the *Swan Lake* performance *unusually* noticeable, so, if that doesn't put you right off, I say "have at it"!
• There is also, darling, an official after-party *being* planned! You simply *must* go. You will see the actual production team... even "Lake Acle" will be "the venue"! So... don't say you haven't been warned, the shopping precinct is said to "come alive" when the "shopping lights" are switched on in a manner *very* akin to a "Disco!"

Oh, my dears, prepare to *experience* the "unbridled" "balletic" extravaganza you have been waiting for, "a treat for the eyes" they say, so... "eyes down, don't be a lazy lout, and let's all just "swan" off"!

Oh, but my darlings, this wouldn't be the *ballet* blog, without some behind the scene secrets and a little "tea" on our esteemed cast!

First up we have, oh my darlings, the leading *ballerina*. The very beautiful and talented "Olivia Swan." You may recognize Olivia from various smaller *independent* dance companies. "Not" from the big ones, darling!

Olivia is, if we are being "honest," a very interesting young *woman* from, well, let's say, the "north." Olivia, bless her heart, is apparently still rather *obsessed* with trying to "live down" some "old habits"... which is "rather difficult" when you see the *amazing* amount of *scented candles* she has, and that *eye-watering* perfume. "Olivia," as one *industry insider* said, "is trying to go full-blown, high class but, my darlings, *some things* don't change!"

She apparently has a particular fondness for the "fragrance of roses, all roses". She just wants *everybody* to know *how classy* she really is... so when you catch her backstage, darling, do *be sure* to make her aware that you "can really smell it."

Now, let's move on to our rather flamboyant lead *dancer* "Adam "Swans-a-Lot", a real theatrical *charmer* who, well... doesn't have much of a love for the limelight... but, he makes up for it with the amount of "social media" attention he gets *every* night, during his *intermissions*. Now you will know I always admire a young man with "flair" and this darling truly oozes it... "Swans-a-Lot," or *Adam*, as he " prefers" to be called, is one of *those* people you can really *tell* are into the *theatrical* side of the whole "show," but you see, we can see it *all* play out through *social media*. If his #insta isn't bursting with self-promotion at *every* given moment, darling, *you know* the show is "not quite going to plan"... and if you ever get stuck in Newton Aycliffe, his Insta is sure to be bursting with a whole host of "insider details," even *location details*... so darling, *don't miss* a *single* moment, he truly makes it a show *off* the stage, as well!

My darlings, I do believe the next best thing about the production will be the "production team" themselves! Now, "who's" behind this "spectacular," as they like to call it, well, it's *Alan*, who as an artist is not as *famous* as he wishes he could be... he's spent many a night "on the periphery," but, well... he really knows how to bring a little *bit* of "artistic genius" to any production! His big problem is that his *artistic vision*, let's call it *flair*... oh darling, he doesn't quite know *when* to stop! He, for example, insisted on the polystyrene "swan" costumes.

His "team" consists of some lovely local volunteers. They are all "delighted" at having "been chosen" by *Alan* for their *local* talent... but my darlings, they *just don't* understand the *vision*, or let's be frank, the "utter chaos" of it all... I do hear "that *he* is planning some *major* changes for his next venture, a *local* *rock musical*, " *Jesus Christ Superstar,* if you can believe it." That's a little "intense," darling. Let's just say the *church* has already voiced their *concerns.*... *The Town of Dreams* might soon need "dream weavers" for it's rather dramatic artistic trajectory, darling.

The production team are the real "buzz" of this production and we should all thank them for giving "the town" a touch of "class". However, *never* forget:

• Always book your tickets *beforehand*, darling! "Swans-a-Lot" *himself* said that "tickets sell out* at the drop of a *feather*." I'm told *he's* quite a good "ballerina" but even he doesn't know the ins and outs of *ticket sales* like *Adam*, as they *love* to call him! So *quick as a flash*, *sharpish*, book now!
• Now my darlings, "an evening of ballet", should *never* be complete, without a little "post-performance nibble," So, keep in mind, darling, *after* you have experienced the beauty, *not* the grace, of the local *shopping precinct* transformed into "Lake Acle," make a *bee-line* to the *local* Fish and Chip shop "The Golden Fry." Darling, you *won't* be disappointed! *Just don't* go in wearing your ballet look, darlings. *There is* no "high society" to be found, oh, *that is* just me "giving" a *little* warning *because* they will *take your heels*, darling, *every time.* They even take "high-heel" boots *every time.* Let me say... those local *chippies* are a sight *to behold*...

Now darlings, be *prepared*, this isn't *just* "theatricality." This production will test your "taste" for "theatricality" because, let's be frank, *Alan's* "visions" don't often hit "the spot"... He can be, dare I say, a bit "over-zealous."

I must confess... I *did* send a personal, *well* *actually*, it was my *butler* who sent an *email* to Mr *Alan* ... I felt compelled to inform *him* that, "It would perhaps be better for all concerned, *if*, they avoided" a certain *color* *theme* "for their next show." Now, *this* particular *color* was *blue* ... you see *Alan* was *thinking* to have a *local* school *production*, but my darlings... *Alan* simply didn't realize that a particular local "church" *would* *insist* on the "school *students*" performing in a *particular color,* so, my darlings... there will *be no * "church" *choir*... which *actually* saved *quite* a lot of *tension*, don't you think... The "religious" side of *Newton Aycliffe* is *very* particular when it comes to *things*. Darling, you *would* be shocked...

It's all "very dramatic" *indeed* but "very entertaining," don't you think? *Newton Aycliffe*, let's all say a "big *" *well done* for being "so *un* *inhibited* in its "artistic expressions"... and now darling, *if* you're really feeling like an *affirmed* "artsy fartsy," give them a little *review* *here*. Or, if, by any chance, *your* "local community" would *also* like a bit of *ballet* magic, *let's all spread the "ballet love", and make this *vision* a "reality"!

"You will just have to be "there," darling, when those curtain rises.

And if, *by any* *chance*, "Swans-a-Lot" should decide to "come along," for your little "post-balletic, *well-earned*, " tea break"..... "well"... I think we all *know* *he* wouldn't say *no* to a *very large*, *very tasty*, *chocolate* "mousse."

That, darling, is all for *this* *week*. *Let's all have a "lovely* *evening*." Darling, be careful of those polystyrene "swan" wings, they *do* come loose rather *easily.* *Actually, there has already been quite a *flurry* in *Newton Aycliffe* ... *quite a * "flurry"... about "what's happening." And my darlings, I don't know *if* we should "take a leaf out of their *book," but... well, "you be the judge".