Oh darling, you simply *must* have seen the scenes at the Royal Opera House last night! It was absolute chaos, but the kind of chaos that leaves you breathless with laughter. Apparently, someone spiked the Covent Garden water supply with, shall we say, *something* â letâs just call it âa dash of whimsyâ â because the ballerinas were going completely bonkers!
It all started when a very petite but decidedly sassy prima ballerina named, shall we say, âPetalâ â a name as delicate as her dance steps, naturally â attempted a grand jetĂ© across the stage. But, instead of soaring gracefully, Petal suddenly found herself inexplicably stuck to the floor, giggling hysterically!
It wasn't a regular, ordinary giggle, darling. This was a giggle of epic proportions. A giggling that brought tears to the eyes and made the chandeliers shimmer in the moonlight filtering through the opalescent glass. She was like a helium balloon that someone had taken the string off and tied to a pin. She bounced and shimmied and, my dears, did I mention the giggles?!
Then the *entire* company was infected. It was a sight to behold, darling. Think 'Swan Lake' meets 'The Benny Hill Show'!
Hereâs how the evening went, according to my sources (some might call them 'gossipy tea-shop patrons', but they're very reliable!):
- **The graceful pas de bourrees were transformed into a ballet of slapstick,** with the dancers tripping over each other's tutus (you havenât lived until youâve seen a tutu on the floor â a delightful pile of tulle heaven!) and performing impromptu *piquĂ©* into each other's arms, collapsing in a delightful heap.
- **Imagine âThe Nutcrackerâ if Clara, rather than facing the terrifying Mouse King, started breakdancing in her pointe shoes.** And all the rats were, you know, **shaking it like they were born for the stage**. This is what was happening on stage at the ROH. My dearest, let's just say Clara wasn't just battling a rodent, she was leading a whole **ballroom blitz of giggles**. And the audience loved it!
- **The lead dancer's beautifully crafted adagio was replaced by a wild shimmy and a little *âHappy Feetâ* shuffle.** Who knew pointe shoes were such amazing tools for shuffling? Letâs just say he stole the show! (You'd never know his face had gone beetroot red when his pointe shoe actually **shoved his partner into a pile of shredded silk⊠she found it incredibly charming and just giggled along â they are terribly close, the two of them, darlings**).
- **Instead of the usual quiet whisper of the final arabesque, there was⊠well, just imagine⊠a glorious **tutti frutti of sound** as they all launched themselves into a dizzying *fouettĂ© en tournant* â which ended up a little bit of a 'controlled fall' for poor, dazzled âPetalâ â much to everyone's amusement.**
Of course, all the other productions had to be cancelled as there was just a bit too much fun, frolicking and giggling going on. And when it comes to giggles â *especially* from ballerinas, darling, no one can hold their breath for too long! Even the strict Royal Opera House staff had to crack a smile, I heard. (Who needs Champagne cocktails when you can have giggling ballet dancers? Honestly, I *have* been known to raise a glass of Prosecco to that!).
So, if you need a chuckle, you need to get down to the Royal Opera House. Grab a seat and watch as those prima ballerinas put their own **unique brand of joie de vivre into the art of pirouettes and pas de bourree's.** And if youâre feeling brave, try *giggling* at a classical performance yourself â it's incredibly liberating, darlings!
It's probably just a 'fashion-forward' *whimsicalâ* performance experiment gone wrong. You know how the ROH likes to be 'ahead of the curve'! After all, we're all living for 'breaking the rules' this season, darling. (It's either that or they just needed a good laugh â and I suspect Iâd be giggling like a school girl too after a long, intense week in those tutus). I'm off to make myself a calming cuppa, darling - perhaps a good slice of victoria sponge cake â just the ticket to relax after *that* display!