Darling, did you hear the news? This week the Royal Ballet, and *yes, even darling Prince Charles has a chuckle at the whole thing*, went a littleā¦ off-script! It all started with their annual fundraising gala, the very evening of, you won't believe it, **4th of May, 1999**. Theyāre *usually* a serious lot, our Royal Ballet, with all that graceful tiptoeing and tutus and whatnot. But this year, well, letās just say it went more āCabaretā than āSwan Lake.ā
Apparently, one of the principle dancers ā darling *[Insert a made-up name here], the darling *most* dramatic ballerina ā decided she was sick of tutus. We're talking a dramatic *āEnough! No more pouter pigeon silhouettes!ā* sort of mood. Don't even get me started on how she was throwing her *silk* ballet shoes about like frisbeesā¦ So dramatic, darling!
So, what does the fiery one do? In a fit of inspired insanity, she rips off her tutuā¦ mid-performanceā¦ and starts a conga lineā¦with a full, full conga line. Of ballerinas! Theyāre *usually* all about those delicate leaps, but theyāre doing the conga line with their feather boas, darling! *Imagine the feathers!*
They went from all that elegant Swan Lake swanning toā¦ a conga line, dear! The whole ballet, even the poor orchestra, just *burst* out laughing! And this wasn't your *subtle*, 'oh-look-at-the-silly-little-ballerina' giggling, this was full, roaring, uncontrollable *laughter*. They just couldn't *help* it!
Well, the crowd was in *stitches*! Talk about your *unintentional* comic relief. Honestly, darlings, these ballerinas could give Joan Rivers a run for her money! They're all *whispering*, *āIs that actually happening? How dare they?!ā*, but *everyone* is secretly thrilled by the chaos! Honestly, imagine the looks on the patronsā faces!
The rest of the performance, they tell me, was a total shambles! They weren't sure what was going to happen next: Maybe they would *start* a disco party?! A ballet-themed *Flashdance*?! You could hardly hear the orchestra above the laughter and clapping, darling!
So, is this the start of a *new* kind of ballet? Who knows! Maybe in a few decades weāll all be waltzing with feather boas in a full conga line, darling! The worldās already gone a little *bonkers* if *Prince Charles* was laughing his head off at a *conga-line* balletā¦ It was pure, utter, unadulteratedā¦fun!
All that being said, they might want to put on more *security* next time! A little *sanity* at these events wouldn't go amiss... *Perhaps theyāre simply inspired by a recent Britney Spears performance. Or possibly, the Spice Girls were to blame?*
Darling, thatās the beauty of art, isnāt it? It throws up all sorts of surprises and can leave even the most sophisticated people bewildered, baffled and giggling uncontrollably... Well, I think this was just what ballet *needed*. And don't *forget*, darling, a true ballerina should *always* know how to throw a good party!
And did I mention they all had little matching ballet bunny ears with tutus? This is why it is my mission to be a voice for ballerinas and dancers around the world! I mean, *even I* giggled...and I *don't* giggle easily!
*By [your name], your favourite fashionista and dance author.*