Oh darlings, it's been a scorcher of a summer, hasn't it? I'm simply sweltering in this glorious sunshine, and I'm not the only one, it seems. Even the world of ballet, usually all about delicate pirouettes and airy tutus, is experiencing a heat wave.
Imagine my surprise this morning, flicking through my morning paper, to find an article entitled "TutUs vs. The Temperature: Ballet's Hottest Summer Ever!". Now, I must confess, I did have a slight giggle, but upon reading further, I discovered a story of utter chaos.
It all started with the esteemed Royal Ballet company preparing for their annual summer gala at the glorious Royal Opera House. Think soaring arches, glittering chandeliers, the whole nine yards. The show is always a highlight of the season, a chance for our finest dancers to showcase their skills in all their finery, twirling and leaping under the glow of the stage lights. Well, as one can imagine, finery requires… fabric, lots of fabric!
And guess what darling, fabric, when subject to a prolonged dose of high temperatures, becomes… let’s just say, decidedly less lovely! This unfortunate situation was confirmed at the last-minute rehearsal when, I kid you not, several dancers, caught in the heat of the spotlight, began… to sweat.
“It was truly a disaster!,” said a company insider, requesting to remain anonymous, presumably for fear of being chastised by the all-seeing eye of the choreographer! "The tutus, dear, the tutus! All these delicate layers, with that glorious crinoline to add to the puff. We were surrounded by these little puffs of fabric, billowing in the heat of the spotlights! It looked like a scene out of a Shakespearean storm, but with an undercurrent of the most dramatic ballet choreography. It truly was... a very bad day."
Apparently, this "storm" culminated in an impromptu onstage “wardrobe malfunction”, a bit of "exposed tulle" we might call it, a real shocker for the normally sedate audience. Cue the gasp of the onlookers, followed by that sound you hear after a particularly impressive performance – a cascade of uproarious laughter and cheers!
To their credit, the company remained steadfast. They, in true British fashion, took it in their stride, even managing to crack a joke about how the humidity had turned the usual stiff tutu "fluffy", "squishable", "dewy", and my personal favorite, "soft as a marshmallow”. It seems our ballet performers are a truly resourceful bunch, possessing more than just dancing talents.
In the face of such turmoil, it has emerged, in a stroke of good fortune for all those involved ( and perhaps a tad fortunate for the Royal Opera House box office, as I hear tickets for that performance were "hot", to say the least ), a brand-new material will be added to the ballet world, introducing the all-weather “performance-enhancing”, “comfort-guaranteeing”, “never-go-limp” “Breathable Tutu”.
Don't worry darlings, there's been no compromise in the look. These “new era” tutus are every bit as beautiful as their predecessors but more durable (they claim it even protects against spilled cocktails, an invaluable detail). You'll see them at next year's gala. So keep your eyes peeled for those fabulous and practical puffs of fabric!
On a completely unrelated note (ahem!), I can't believe the temperatures have climbed so high, my darling, it’s been absolutely roasting, hasn’t it? I’m already reaching for my lightest, breezy sundress, all chiffon and feathers and lace… I'm even thinking about adding a dash of sequins to my wardrobe for the occasion… ( maybe even one just slightly more flamboyant than my favorite pink feather boa…). Just as a thought, perhaps the “new” tutu, designed by yours truly, is not just limited to the ballet stage, eh, darling? I must think on this some more! Until next time, dear ones, have a lovely summer. And be sure to take your vitamin D!