Tutu Chaos! A Night of Buns and Bunfights
Darling, gather round, for I've got the scoop on the most dramatic night in ballet history, since, well, probably ever! It was a Wednesday, the 8th of August, 1999. Picture this: a packed auditorium, the Royal Albert Hall, London, where everyone's in their glad rags, sipping champagne and awaiting the grand spectacle. It was the gala opening of 'The Nutcracker', but the performance wasn't the headline that evening. It was a clash of the titans, the tutu wars! Let's just say, it wasn't all tutus and smiles.
So, as the orchestra launched into Tchaikovsky's iconic score, the entire stage seemed to spin out of control, well, not literally, they’re ballerinas not whirlwinds! But the "snowflake scene" devolved into a sartorial battlefield. A flurry of feather boas and feathery tutu's (yes, they had them back then!), became entangled, with delicate netting ripped and sequins scattered across the stage, like so many spilled champagne diamonds. It looked like an haute couture tumbleweed rolling through a hurricane.
What started as graceful snow-falling quickly transformed into something resembling a chaotic flock of agitated, slightly peckish peacocks. There were gasps, snorts of laughter, and even, if I'm not mistaken, a smattering of 'tut tut tuts' from the audience, if you can imagine! And the ballerina’s, who, by all accounts were professionals, and we've all seen them handle their fair share of tricky situations in a split second – let’s be honest, the balance required during a pointe shoe grand jete takes some serious nerve! – found themselves tangled and, shall we say, un-tutu-ed.
The leading lady, one Henrietta Von Bessermann, a porcelain doll come to life if you ask me, did not disappoint. Her face was frozen in a masterpiece of sheer bewilderment as her once-flawless snowflake costume unravelled in front of the audience, the glitter scattering like a handful of cosmic dust. For a split second, we thought she’d burst into tears but instead, she went for it. With a dramatic flourish, and let me tell you, she has flair, the poor darling went full "snowball" rolling onto her stomach – if it wasn’t for her incredible training I doubt she'd have made it through. A full split right on the stage! Honestly darling, I had to grab my pearls when I saw it!
And let's not forget about poor Gregory, the charming young Prince, known for his impeccable style. Imagine him in full ballet splendour: a dashing royal with the perfect white velvet suit, the high silk breeches, the soft yet stern air… he was not ready for the avalanche of feathers. When his partner tumbled over, he threw out his hands in mock surrender. We couldn’t help but laugh at the absolute chaos he was thrown into. The orchestra tried to soldier on with their magical, albeit slightly mournful rendition of 'The Waltz of the Flowers'. In the end, the only "waltzing" involved was the way poor Gregory was forced to stumble and practically skip his way across the stage, carefully dodging tutu debris as he went.
What happened? Did the Snow Queen send an ill wind from the Land of Sweets? Was there sabotage? A vengeful designer's curse? Sadly, darling, no one knows for sure. In fact, it remains the greatest ballet mystery of all time, like something straight out of a 'Gossip Girl' episode, except more feathers, fewer mean girls and way more beautiful men, no offense to Gossip Girl. Perhaps, just perhaps, the entire incident was a publicity stunt. A strategic (and successful, one could argue!) act of mischief for those who believe all publicity is good publicity! I for one am hoping for more!
The best part of it all? The crowd loved it. Even amidst the chaos, it was the best "Nutcracker" they'd ever seen. Why? Because you’ll never forget a ballet performance where it felt like an absolute dance-floor bonanza of chaos and good humor.
Remember darlings, fashion is a language of its own. We don't always have control over how others see our message, just be prepared for what the runway throws at you, be it glitter, feathers or, as we saw tonight, a complete and total, tutu-ally spectacular wardrobe malfunction.
And the next time someone tells you ballet is all elegance and poise, just point to that night. As for poor Henrietta, she got a standing ovation and all the champagne she could ever want. You see, darling, sometimes even in chaos, the magic of dance perseveres.
Now that is what I call entertainment, dear readers! I shall have you know this scandal is exactly the sort of stuff you don't miss out on when you're following my style advice, remember that my darlings! Follow me on my new social media "Flock of Swans" account and we’ll all get ready to take flight and dance the night away!"