Oh darlings, it's me, your favourite ballet-obsessed writer, back again with more tantalising titbits from the wonderful world of dance. Today's news is as sweet as a sugar plum fairy and as dramatic as a grand jeté. Hold on to your tutus, my dears, because it's time to get our pointe shoes on!
Now, it wouldn't be a day without some tutus. Have you heard the rumour that those sparkly pink delights have finally earned their own personal day on the calendar? You know the ones, those frothy creations that somehow manage to be both utterly impractical yet absolutely essential? Yes, darlings, it's true. The Ministry of Fun (or should I say the 'Ministry of Fun & frothy Delights' as they now like to be known) has officially announced 'Tutu Day' to be observed on the 6th of December every year, a glorious new tradition to mark the end of the most glorious festive season of them all, and it has quite a lot of the ballet world in a flap! I'll give you one guess who the 'Tutu Queen' is, yes, dearie, none other than the stunning Ms. Sylvie Guillem, who even admitted to crying tears of joy upon hearing the news. Her tears were most definitely diamonds!
But there is some dissention, darling. You can't possibly have a 'Tutu Day' without some controversy. Apparently, a small but vociferous group known as the 'SASH' - Society of Anti-Skirtwear Haters (what's with these terrible names? I just don't know!) is calling for a boycott. SASH members believe tutus, by their very nature, encourage 'the oppressive objectification of the female form.' Oh darling, have you ever seen a woman dancing en pointe in a tutu? It's a celebration of feminine strength, power and beauty! One can only imagine the SASH people are hiding beneath the 'en pointe' banner of an artistic freedom. Well, good luck with that, dears.
- But that's not all the news from the tututu land! In a surprising twist, Mr. Peter Pan (yes, darling, that one) has declared his firm belief that the tutu has given him "a terrible time, and that he is "more than ready for some knickerbockers" (whatever those are).
- And what about the news of that controversial performance in the Russian National Ballet, "Nutcracker - The Tutu Edition?" I hear whispers that one very talented ballerina had the rather impressive misfortune of falling and ripping her tutu...in the very opening scene! Don't fret though, it appears the ballerina - I won't say her name, it's very sensitive at this moment, darling - recovered remarkably well and continued to the very last encore.
- And there are some other fun new tutu related facts out in the wider world too. That popular teen boy band 'Take The Tutu' is having a comeback! Oh the thrill of a certain age!
Darling, with this 'Tutu Day' announcement the world's most wonderful and feminine garment has truly stepped onto the centre stage, and it is our duty, as women, as ballet aficionados and as purveyors of all things delicate, fabulous and charming to give it a standing ovation. Happy Tutu Day darling. You have our hearts! That's it from me, see you soon.