Darling, let's face it, ballet is already pretty ridiculous. But on this momentous day, 9th December 1999, things have gone truly bonkers. This is a day that shall live in infamy (or perhaps just be fondly remembered by my fabulous fashionista friends and I for our delightful little giggle-fit). I speak, of course, of the "Tutu Tosser" incident!
Now, let's set the scene. It's a crisp December afternoon. The Christmas decorations are going up (and darling, my sparkly tinsel baubles are absolutely to die for!), the carols are already on the radio (a tad early, I know, but who can resist those festive tunes?), and I'm at the ballet, taking in the dazzling beauty of *The Nutcracker*. Yes, darling, it's practically an annual tradition - my treat for my friends, followed by an utterly glamorous festive lunch with lashings of champagne!
Everything is perfectly *au courant*, as always. My favourite pale pink silk scarf is just the right touch of chic with my stunning black sequinned coat (oh, it does shimmer in the winter sunlight!). As the audience erupts in a roar of applause, our esteemed prima ballerina makes her grand finale. She looks resplendent in her dazzling pink tutu and tiara, practically levitating across the stage. And then it happened…
Out of the shadows, a shadowy figure (some say it was a middle-aged gentleman in a tweed jacket – shocking!) flung a **single, lonely, albeit rather battered tutu** towards the stage. This rather unrefined projectile, in all its pale, flimsy glory, went sailing towards the dancer. Thankfully, she missed, it sailed gracefully, (in a wonderfully comical way) into the audience – landing squarely in the lap of a stunned-looking gentleman wearing an even more stunningly unfashionable paisley tie. The audience went wild!
Darling, you simply couldn't have imagined the spectacle! Laughter ripped through the theatre like a whirlwind. It was chaos! Champagne glasses were flung into the air (perhaps a bit too much enthusiasm in this instance, darling, though thankfully no damage was done), hats were knocked off, and the genteel atmosphere dissolved into utter mayhem. I confess, my dear, I was even caught up in the madness, chuckling away with my friends!
After a tense pause and a moment of utter confusion, the show bravely continued, but let's be honest, nothing could truly overshadow the "Tutu Tosser." As we left, everyone seemed giddy and buzzing with excitement. Even the normally prim and proper, rather stern-looking ballet teacher (whose usual dress code of strict black pants and beige jumpers certainly isn’t in my little black book) was giggling and whispering in her fellow teacher's ear about this hilarious spectacle. I daresay this was an afternoon we’ll never forget.
And the mystery of the "Tutu Tosser"? Still unresolved, darling. Perhaps a love-struck suitor seeking an unusual declaration, or an eccentric fan desperate for attention? I dare say, we'll never know, but one thing's for sure - this wasn’t your average ballet performance!
Now, as for me, darling, I think this incident deserves a celebration. After all, the ballet can always use a little bit of playful chaos, don't you think? This is clearly proof that ballet, even on its most hallowed stages, can be completely wonderfully silly – and we simply adore it! Let's have a toast, my darling friends, to the memory of that spectacular tutu, that lovely little touch of delightful anarchy, and a fabulous time had by all!