Oh darling, what a day! 10th December 1999! The Millennium is upon us and weâre all buzzing! Well, almost everyone! You wouldnât believe whatâs happened today in the world of ballet⌠A right royal scandal! It's the stuff of utter, utter diva-ish drama!
Apparently, a rather overzealous tutu enthusiast, bless their cotton socks, has gone rogue, let's call her Beatrice, (we all know a Beatrice, donât we darling?) Beatrice, has gone completely, utterly bonkers, and decided to, letâs just say, "embellish" her local Tesco, turning it into a tutu paradise!
Can you picture it? This utterly ordinary Tesco, suddenly adorned with more tutus than a ballet schoolâs lost and found⌠the cheese counter draped in a flurry of pale pink and tulle, a sparkly, rainbow tutu-festooned aisle overflowing with milk and crumpets! Oh darling, the poor shoppers, theyâd be totally in shock, tutus around their ankles with every bag of chips and frozen peas they purchase. Truly the vision of the apocalypse!
And Beatrice herself? The reports paint her in a gloriously, OTT, tutu-clad light, leading a throng of supporters. You'd swear theyâd escaped from a Strictly Come Dancing rehearsal gone wild, each one waving their own pink and fluffy flag in the air!
Letâs take a step back and look at this little tutu extravaganza in a bit of context. Itâs been a HUGE year for ballet! With the world abuzz with all things Millennial, it's no surprise that our national obsession with sparkly shoes and elaborate pointework is bubbling over! So you'd think Beatrice has a point! She is making a valid point after all. Who wouldnât want to step out in their everyday life, clad in tulle? You only live once!
But darling, what a mess! Tescoâs PR team is, naturally, having kittens, bless them, theyâre probably glued to the phone trying to wrangle Beatrice and her little tutu troop, begging them to âtake the tutuâs offâ and allow everyone to go back to buying normal things. Such is life darling, lifeâs all about compromise! It really makes one wonder, who exactly do these PR companies think will clean up the wreckage when it all comes crashing down. Who will pick up the glitter bombs?
This isnât a simple little fashion statement, love, this is anarchy! Anarchy in the world of cheese, bread and fresh vegetables. Is it too much to ask that these poor, helpless supermarkets are spared? Oh darling, what a sight. This tutu rampage, itâs chaos, utter, glorious chaos, and weâre here for it!
Here are my own musings on the tutus situation darling:
⢠Tutus are for everyone: This situation reminds us, honey, that weâre all, whether we like it or not, are on a journey, weâre all just little ballerinas out for our first pirouette. Who knows? Maybe Tesco is trying to subtly nudge us in the direction of a new world of graceful, elegant ballet-inspired shopping, who knows? ⢠Tutus and chaos! : But what a time to be alive! As for Beatrice, honey, I think sheâs giving us a very clear message, donât be afraid to embrace chaos. Let your true, fluffy self shine! Be the dancing, tutu-clad warrior that the world needs, the ballerina ready to grab that giant baguette and take on the world. Be fabulous!