Well, darlings, itâs been a rather long time since we last had a truly sensational ballet scandal, donât you think? The world of dance has been a bit... predictable, lately. The swans have been doing their thing, the fairies flitting about like, well, fairies, and everyone seems stuck in their predictable pas de deux. But hold your tulle, because dear reader, this April 9th, 2000, will be a day for the history books!
Imagine my utter astonishment this morning when, stepping out of my fabulously fuchsia-coloured flat in Chelsea, I saw it â the headlines. It appears that some sneaky scoundrels (or perhaps just really enthusiastic tutus enthusiasts?) have made off with an entire collection of the worldâs most iconic ballet tutus! Gone are the pristine pouffes and perfectly-primed plumes of, gasp, the Royal Balletâs "Swan Lake" collection, the entire "Sleeping Beauty" ensemble (apparently including Auroraâs oh-so-divine wedding tutu), and even a couple of rare, handcrafted tutus from Diaghilevâs Ballets Russes! And as if this wasnât enough drama for one day, a flock of angry, (and letâs be honest, somewhat peckish) swans have descended upon the Royal Opera House demanding their costumes back! (Apparently, theyâve always considered those "Swan Lake" tutus their own personal property⌠who knew, eh?) I tell you, darling, itâs more glamorous than any West End production!
Now, who in their right mind would steal tutus, I ask? A disgruntled seamstress whoâs had a particularly nasty run-in with a needle? A disgruntled ballet fan tired of watching "The Nutcracker" every year? I fear the motives are shrouded in secrecy and intrigue, and like any good thriller, the clues are few and far between.
Thankfully, the powers that be at the Royal Ballet are pulling out all the stops in their search for the stolen tulle. Theyâve even resorted to contacting a rather unconventional expert: none other than my fabulous friend, Beatrice âBabsâ Blackwood, a self-proclaimed tutu historian and professional gossip queen (weâre not talking just your everyday tutus, Babs has got an encyclopaedic knowledge on all types of the garment! Think of a Tutu Encyclopedia for your wildest dreams.) . It appears that Babs knows just the place where the infamous âPink Paradiseâ tutu from the Ballets Russes was once auctioned. "I tell you," she gasped at the phone, her voice trembling with excitement, "this is just like when Princess Margaret lost her tiara back in the 70s. A real scandal, dear! Truly a real scandal.â
Now, one has to wonder â what is the thiefâs ultimate goal here? Are they trying to resell the tutus to some shady Parisian auction house? Perhaps itâs a publicity stunt for a new tutu line â I'm thinking âBallerina Chic by, erm... The Great Tutus Banditâ. Frankly, if that's the case, darling, I'm all for it. I need a new, *sparkly* wardrobe refresh anyway!
One thingâs for sure: The drama of stolen tutus isnât going to just magically disappear. The ballet world is on its tiptoes with curiosity and suspicion! And my dear, I, for one, wouldnât want to miss it for all the feather boas and lace trim in the world!
We'll keep you posted with all the updates, dear reader, as soon as they happen. But, darling, for now, be sure to have a little *extra* twinkle in your eyes! This is truly an extraordinary day for fashion, for history...and for dance!
In the meantime, dear reader, if you find yourself on a rainy afternoon wandering the Chelsea Antique Market, keep an eye out for some exquisite, vintage, ballet-inspired goodies. And who knows, you may even run into my pal Babs â if youâre really lucky, sheâll even share some gossip about the tutu bandits! Now off I dash, darling. A fabulously feathered ball gown awaits... for a rather special cocktail party, natch.