Darling, it's a simply *fabulous* day for a little news! This morning, the world awoke to a shocking revelation: **the price of tutus is skyrocketing!** I mean, darling, it's a crisis! My seamstress just informed me that the tulle alone will bankrupt me by next month's gala. Is nothing sacred in this day and age?
The news came, oh, I don't know, like a bolt of lightning - a bolt of **sparkling** lightning - right in the middle of my morning coffee break (triple-shot, caramel, of course, I don't want to get into my routine but let's just say this is not the news I need before the Bolshoi).
The sources - **who *could* it be** - blame it all on a worldwide tulle shortage. Imagine that! Now the entire ballet world, all the darling little fairies in training, are facing the horrifying prospect of **lacklustre outfits.**
And don't get me started on the accessories! Sequins are now worth their weight in, well, diamonds! The sheer audacity! (pun fully intended, my dears). Imagine being forced to wear a simple satin slipper without **at least** five layers of diamantes. It's simply a tragedy for the eyes, and frankly, it feels a bit *common* - which, of course, *nobody* wants.
A few months back, I heard whisperings, rumour has it - **rumour *always* has it** - that it was a rogue llama chewing through tulle stock at some massive factory, a sort of, *I'm sorry but I can't believe the chaos they have made!*, moment.
It seems this rogue llama wasn't so rogue, but merely **a *highly-skilled*, dedicated ballet enthusiast,** a tiny little tulle connoisseur, a *gourmand* if you will. Well, darling, you cannot *blame* a llama, can you? A simple, perhaps even *adorable* (as they are after all), creature with excellent taste (and *better* taste buds than I'd say most!). It's just *what they do*! After all, who *wouldn't* nibble a beautiful bit of tulle, soft and delicate... I just, well... I simply have *a* little soft spot for llamas, my darling. I understand, truly I do!
I *almost* started making *a* tiny ballet-themed costume for my own little chihuahua, so she could perform a delicate ballet for a certain 'someone' to wear! But even the finest silk ribbons, darling, will break the bank.
Now, the *serious* consequences! This may impact the *entire* dancing world. We're talking about a cultural, global, ***revolutionary* crisis*!!! For one, how are all those swans to pirouette gracefully when their tutus are simply *no good*?!? Don't they have some sort of avian trade agreement?!? *Unheard of.* It just simply wouldn't be the same.
This whole ordeal has me quite upset. Let's have a little reflection... **what are some alternatives**?
* Perhaps, it's time for the dancing world to embrace the *bold* world of contemporary dance - no tulle needed, let's *own* that casual chic. Let's embrace trousers! (Or at least **those cute dance-ready leggings that don't feel *too* constricting**!) * Now's the time for the **classic tutu**, let's *own* the timelessness! Perhaps it's a time to re-evaluate and maybe we can *all* try and **understand** the beauty of simplicity. * Well, if *all else fails*.. Perhaps some talented designers might start to work with *other* fabric? *It wouldn't be *too* shabby* to have a collection of beautifully-made linen tutus (it *could* actually be very sophisticated!). Perhaps we could do **a tulle and linen hybrid** *situation*. * And let's just all agree on one thing - no more *cheap* polyester, it looks cheap, it acts cheap - *ditch* it completely, it’s time to embrace those lovely natural fibres. There are so many! We *don't* have to settle for that *dreary*, **dull*,* stuff! * * And speaking of materials... well *a* little something in *satin*, *velvet* or even silk perhaps! That *would* be a rather delightful option! And yes, **there is nothing more sensual than silk for an elegant plié!** * And let's **go back to basics**. This is a call for action - *let's rediscover the craft! * Perhaps we can return to that old, but not entirely **unforgotten** (how lovely! a touch of nostalgia!), world of creating tutus by hand. Yes, I *do* have a little dream, it might just **need to happen**, maybe, if it's a *tiny* dream.. *why not*?
As for my **dear llama friends**? *They need not worry*. The shops on the Kings Road *never* run out of fabulous **handmade knitted garments, oh, the *gorgeous*, *soft*, little *cardigans!* *Perfect* for a *lovely little cuddle* *right?*.