Oh darling, did you hear about the *tut-tut-tastic* to-do in the ballet world? The world of dance is in absolute *tutu-mania*, my dears, and let me tell you, itâs a riotous, swirling, tutued tornado of absolute utter silliness, with not a pointe shoe out of place, darling. I tell you, the whole world of dance is truly having a giggle!
And it all started last Tuesday, November 19, with news about a break-in at the world-famous Bolshoi Theatre, my darlings. Well, I say âbreak-inâ. What actually happened, was that a little gang of â oh I just can't help but be nice â âdisgruntledâ students, some aspiring *danseurs*, or perhaps even a couple of jealous ballet teachers, with perhaps one too many "extra strong peppermint teas", all, I tell you, got caught red-handed stealing â oh the drama! â the whole lot, of the Bolshoiâs legendary tutu collection! I mean, just imagine the sheer number of *tutus*, the tulle, the silk, and the shimmering sequins! A *treasure trove* of the *most exquisite* stage wear a dancer could ever dream of, snatched! The utter cheek of it all, my darlings.
I mean, why tutus? How silly can they be, my darlings, these "artists"? Well, the rumour going around the theatre is, they got carried away during a rather lively post-performance sherry and wanted to throw a spontaneous "midnight tutus, and cocktails" rave â I mean, how fabulous is that! My dear, imagine a stage overflowing with the fluffiest, swishiest *tutus*, with a whole *swarm* of ballet dancers strutting in the most extravagant costumes and feathers! I mean, youâve heard of *glitter-bombing*, well this was the ultimate "tutued-ballet-rave!" The fun, my darling, went on well into the early hours, until the head teacher caught them at their midnight escapade. The police were summoned and there was, well, the ultimate *tutudrama* , my darling! The authorities even said there might have been some vodka cocktails â what mischief! Oh, the stories this collection of *tutus* could tell, if only those *tutues* could talk, eh, darling?! The rumour mill is spinning faster than a pirouette, but luckily nobody got injured, except perhaps the poor soul who ended up wearing a size five "Cinderella" tutu, and he happens to be a rather large lad, oh the irony. My darling, how could I *possibly* have not mentioned, this poor soul, a certain Ivan, was the *last one caught*! I just had to tell you, the police, well, they couldn't help themselves! A photo-op with a *tutu* hanging around the big guy, for the newspaper, and, well, *bam* a meme that is literally viral. A *meme* called "The Tutu and the Tummy".
I mean, my darling, they just went totally "overboard" with this whole affair! What else did these *disgruntled artists* want with *tutus*, besides a "dance-off"? You wonât believe it but - and donât tell anyone, donât want to get in trouble, but, these dancing-tutus were in some kind of elaborate *scheme* involving a *very famous ballerina*. A famous ballerina with, letâs say an "elaborate jewelry collection"! The rumour has it, it was all supposed to be some kind of a daring *jewel heist*. Well, my darling, you couldn't get a more daring act if you *tried*. You know, they even wanted to *throw* one of those *tutus* over her in the middle of the Bolshoi performance, while she was, well doing her swan lake *grand finale*. Oh, my dear, that would have been spectacular, a *dance* to remember! Just think of the *audience reaction* at that point. A sea of âOoohsâ and âAhhhsâ! I can already see the *headline* âTutu of Terror!â. But *apparently* some of those âartistsâ were too drunk to make a decent run for it, and some ended up in that little âmidnight raveâ in the studio, the poor souls! They all have the daylights scared out of them and now theyâve all got to go back to normal rehearsals! What a tale!
Well, darling, it was an *absolute disaster*. What could they possibly do with all of these *tutus*, even for the grandest of balls?! In the end, well, the whole *tutu fiasco* is going down in history as one of the most absurd, funniest things that ever happened in the world of ballet. My darlings, the "dancing shoes" might have had a bit too much *vodka* but their taste in *tutus* and style were absolutely exquisite!
You know, this story has a wonderful life of its own. My darling, you must keep your eyes on the story and watch how it will develop! I *love* watching a dance, or ballet story *evolve*. And how those dancers, or in this case "thievesâ, find the way back to being normal. I just love the idea, my dear, of the next *Nutcracker* performance, because I just know they will all be extra careful with the tutus and, maybe the costumes for next performance might have some *interesting* new features that remind us all of that *extraordinary* evening in the Bolshoiâs dancing studio.
But the *real* news, the true news from all this tutued-ballet-mania, darling, is, it has re-awakened the interest of dance and ballet in a new, youthful and *thrillingly absurd* way. You see, the next generation of *danseurs* arenât simply about graceful leaps and *choreographed* steps anymore, but they have found the pure joy in the sheer fun, the thrill, the sheer excitement and silliness of what ballet is really all about. I am not just talking about *tutus*. It is the love of dancing, being creative and itâs all about that tantalising feeling of being on the stage! Oh, and the sheer *thrill* of having a âtutu nightâ with a glass of vodka and some *friends*. Just think, my darling! It is really about those little moments of dance, that tiny dance floor with your *best friend* or just dancing in your own living room â all with that lovely, swishy feeling of a *tutu*. It really doesnât matter what you wear, but it is that joy of just moving, just dancing! And we all can be a part of that. My darlings, isnât that *fabulous*?
This is really a beautiful lesson for the world, a tutu-ed reminder, my darlings, that the power of dance and being creative is all around us. And maybe we don't all need the *Bolshoi* or the *Royal Opera House* for that. I tell you, we all can *tutu-up* our lives any time and have some fun. Isnât it just *wonderful*? My darlings, *have a dance*, you look fabulous.