Oh darlings, I simply can't believe what's going on in the world of ballet today! Apparently, 28th June 2000 marks the launch of "National Tutu Day". Don't even get me started on how ridiculously twee that sounds. "National Tutu Day"? My dears, is it really necessary to devote an entire day to that particular garment? It's hardly a forgotten delicacy, is it?
Let me tell you, darling, you could have knocked me over with a feather boa when I heard this. This day supposedly "celebrates the elegance, beauty, and artistry of tutus." Well, yes, sure, a tutu *can* be beautiful and artistic but let's not forget that we're also talking about a piece of fabric that barely covers anything. I mean, let's be honest, if the wind catches that fluffy tulle, a major wardrobe malfunction is imminent, darling!
It seems the day was dreamt up by a bunch of tutu enthusiasts - if you can imagine, darling! They believe it's a chance to spread awareness of the art of ballet - I know, revolutionary, right? - but honestly, I'm having a right laugh about it, It's almost like celebrating national pantyhose day - slightly strange and unnecessary. The irony isn't lost on me though; after all, it was the *tutu* that originally made me fall in love with ballet when I was a little girl.
There was this particular production of The Nutcracker at the Royal Opera House, darling, where the sugar plum fairy wore this dazzling, diaphanous pink tutu. She literally looked like she could float. There was magic in the air! From that day forward, my heart belonged to ballet.
So, you see, even a somewhat cynical old dance pro like myself can see the appeal of this particular bit of dancing-specific garb, but is there really a need for a National Tutu Day? A whole day dedicated to celebrating a piece of clothing associated with an artistic expression that requires a whole heap of training and dedication? Is it even appropriate, my dears?
Here's the thing, it really depends on which tutu we're talking about, don't you think? I mean, the Romantic tutu from the late nineteenth century - well, it just has to be seen, darling! But there are those big poofy tutus, the kind worn by ballerinas during performances of "Swan Lake" - let's be honest, they do scream a bit "Princess-Gone-Wild", don't they? The "I-can't-actually-walk-in-these-without-losing-my-balance-but-look-at-me!" sort of thing.
And then we have those utterly bizarre and frankly quite frankly hilarious tutus that pop up at community events. I can't imagine the chaos! Think about it: Your local amateur dance troupe is performing a "Nutcracker" number for the Christmas fair and then BANG! - that tutu starts its great escape and a whole group of little girls get tangled up in it. It could be chaos, darling, sheer utter chaos!
Of course, there's also the "fashion" tutu, the little ones that people love to wear as a fashionable accessory, and then the *faux-tutu*. The one worn by a group of wannabe-fashionable girls in tiny pubs, which I will forever think of as the tutu worn by the wannabe-ballet dancer at your local village festival (where she's likely drunk and thinks she is looking stunningly "ethereal"). I'm sure you've all seen at least one of those.
But, the irony, dear, the absolute irony of the whole thing! Even though I make light of this National Tutu Day nonsense - and let's face it, darling, I've got to - there is, just a little tiny, almost undetectable bit of me that finds it sort of sweet, too.
In an age where social media tries to convince us that everyone can wear anything and do anything - that we all have equal ability and it's just "about confidence" - there's something truly refreshing about something simple, yet incredibly hard to pull off - the tutu! This isn't something you can just pull out of your drawer and expect it to work for you. There is nothing simple about it, not one tiny little bit. You must know what you're doing! And the same goes for that lovely little piece of garment. The Tutu - oh darling, it deserves a day, don't you think?