Oh darling, itās 6 July 2000 and you know what that means? Yes, thatās right, another day for tutus to be taking over the world!
Iām your resident ballet blogger and frankly, Iām exhausted from the sheer number of times Iāve seen this item of clothing in my day. But like a good swan in Swan Lake, we must rise above the challenge, right?
Well, in the heart of Covent Garden, dearie, you canāt walk five metres without being engulfed in tulle. Literally, if it wasnāt for those fantastic tights (always opaque, donāt even get me started on the nude coloured mesh ones) youād get a good sniff of all those dancersā sweat (donāt get me wrong, weāre not smelling *that* I just meanā¦)
Itās not that tutus are a bad thing, darling, but when a good, healthy chunk of London is looking like the scene from the ending of The Nutcracker after the sweets arrive, thatās when itās time to start questioning whether this is a little bit over the top.
The biggest issue we face, you see, is this. While we want our dear dancers, to be as beautiful, airy, free, and light as their very elegant tutus, we are not able to fully support them on this venture, because they keep stealing my clothes.
No, darling, you heard me correctly. While youāve been worrying about things like climate change and whether you have a good enough wardrobe to rival the entire inventory of Topshop, all these swans, princesses and sugar plum fairies have been out and about pinching from your and my wardrobes.
A friend of mine saw a rather cheeky-looking (very petite) dancer with the āsameā dress she had purchased at Zara for a party at The Ivy only last week! Oh my god, you have no idea how jealous I was. Her legs looked like a mile long.
The tutus themselves seem to be under siege, you see, and by siege, I mean being *taken over* by our ballerina friends in order toā¦ahem, get into character, I suppose.
Whatās wrong with all these dancers?- Firstly, thereās an unhealthy trend in ballerina circles (and in this context ācircleā means both those dancers who whirl in them and the actual dresses) of *wearing things too small for them.* You donāt know this but this practice is rather embarrassing in the context of this blog, and I am not about to allow it.
- Secondly, dancers have taken a very ānew-eraā look at fashion and this means that a tutu *cannot be one tutu* anymore.
Darling, that sounds strange to me and you should know that we should leave a certain, well, *shape*, to the tutu as it's already iconic in the first place.
There have been tutus with fishnet (donāt know what the designers are thinking. What a bizarre combo for our swans to look like something from an 80s dance club) tutus with sequins (so inappropriate. This should only be acceptable on *certain* dances, in *certain* ballets), tutus with neon (oh, darling, why! Where's the magic?) and tutus with flowers attached (again, very random and not exactly practical for pirouette turns)
To top it all off, dancers are even using actual skirts they bought from āhigh streetā retailers on stage and they think it is "innovative." Darling, are we not missing the point of "high-brow" dance here?
What *really* should be concerning our ballet lovers at the Royal Opera House are some of the dances. The ones involving big sweeping, elegant stepsā¦ are the tutus making their comeback to fashion again, this year.
While I canāt say I love itā¦and please letās try and focus on tutus that are *actually designed* for dancers to wear in those situations because I donāt want my tutu obsession to spill over (pun absolutely intended) to my friends on the *outside world* who may feel itās simply an *attack* on all those āfeminine, fashion conscious women,ā letās be happy we at least are able to *see* such a wondrous spectacle. That said, it is not at all a new phenomenon - as all you ballet lovers who were watching in 2000 will no doubt remember.