Fun Ballet Tutu News 1521

Darlings! Can you believe it’s August the 31st already? The summer’s absolutely flown by, hasn't it? I swear, it feels like I was just sipping Pimms in the garden yesterday, and now the leaves are already starting to turn, the nights are drawing in and – oh dear – it’s practically time for the dreaded annual ‘Tutu Crisis’! That’s right, my lovelies, we’re all on the cusp of those excruciatingly hot and humid ballet weeks that mean only one thing: Tutus. Glorious, graceful tutus – but oh, the fashion faux pas they can lead to! Let me share some pearls of wisdom (and a few titters) on surviving this trying period in our ballet lives, darlings.

First of all, let’s face it, it's tough for any self-respecting ballerina to go into ‘tu-tu’ mode without at least a teensy-weensy panic attack. Why, you might ask? Well, firstly, there’s the sheer volume of tulle. How much tulle, darling? How much tulle do you even *need* to create one of these voluminous clouds? And why, oh why, is every other tutu colour the exact shade of pink that clashes disastrously with your new ballet shoes? Honestly, it’s enough to send one’s self-esteem into a pirouette of despair!

But, darling, fear not! For this year, I’ve been experimenting with a little trick I like to call 'The Tutu Tiers.' This, my darlings, is the key to taming those swirling behemoths of tulle! Now, imagine a classic, perfect, fairytale tutu - you know the sort, the kind of tutu your mum (or your grandmother, darling!) wore when she was a twinkle-toed ballerina. Now, *don't* wear it all at once! That, darlings, is the rookie error! I suggest, you know, like, breaking it down – *like we break down those grand allegro sequences! – into ‘tiers’ or layers, so we can wear our tulle fashionably (without breaking a sweat!). Think ‘The tutu that starts high on the thigh but drops to the calf by the second act!’ or ‘The one that looks like a cloud from the waist up, but, for the final tableau, turns into a swirling vortex of tutudom.’ *You* be the judge! It’s your swan, after all!

This 'Tutu Tiers' approach allows for maximum tu-tu fabulousness whilst minimising any unwanted ‘Tutu Traumas.’ Now, if you happen to see your own reflection (a rare treat!), and think, "My goodness, I look like I just emerged from a bubblegum-fuelled dreamscape! – then my darlings, you’re doing it right!” Just don't, you know, 'forget' to tie it properly. There’s nothing like ending a show with your entire ballet ensemble on the floor – and darling, you do *not* want to see how the 'tiering' affects the tights! I know this might sound strange, but… It actually looks *amazing* in slow motion. For about 3 seconds, it is a beautiful, and even quite a lovely and impressive *tour de force*, but, it then looks… messy… (if you don’t have good insurance).

Moving on! What could be a more terrifying prospect than those dreaded backstage 'tutu tangles' during a dress rehearsal? (Yes, darling, *everyone* suffers through these!) The truth is, these tutus - these big beautiful white fluffy monsters - are notorious for devouring fellow dancers, equipment, props, and anyone else unfortunate enough to cross their path, like some sort of theatrical beast! A 'Tutu Tangle' is the kind of ballet emergency where no one really knows how to help! I can’t even count the number of times, I’ve ended up tangled in my own tulle (it's like being stuck in an Elizabethan fairy-tale!), right before a performance! Luckily, darlings, the key to conquering the Tutu Tangle lies in what I call 'The Emergency Tutu Release’ – think ‘self-rescue’ – that every ballerina should know. First, stay calm. If you happen to find yourself trapped in your tutu’s silken tendrils (not a romantic thought!)...take a deep breath. Next, use your partner as a leverage. You want a good 'tug-of-war' for the ultimate, (hopefully *graceful*), escape from your ‘tulle tomb.’ And finally…darling… a few well-placed 'sneezes’ might even save your (well-rehearsed) life. It sounds strange…it looks worse. but, trust me, you'll be grateful for it!

• Tutus are definitely *en vogue.* From the grand ballerinas to the adorable little ones, a well-chosen tutu has everyone swirling and pirouette-ing!
• Tutus help to *express yourself.* What colour, shape, and size are you feeling today, darlings? – Let your inner ballerina go wild!
• Tutus make every dance move look even more graceful… or they *could*, I mean they do, sort of. (It is about, the illusion!)

• Let’s not forget the sheer **quantity** of tulle. These swirling garments need a bit of maintenance. Sometimes… it's a big bit of maintenance. Like ‘Ironing-a-massive-mountain-of- tulle' kind of maintenance.
• Some of the fabric designs and patterns you’ll be faced with are truly bizarre. And we can’t forget, you know… ‘the fluff!’ (It's everywhere and you know what’s happening! It’s going to find your partner in those embarrassing moments at the beginning and at the end.)
• They’re truly the most difficult to *pack away*!

Of course, every single ballerina (and every fashionista!), faces these tulle troubles and trials…And my darling, I really mean *every single ballerina*. That's why there is never a moment where it's all so *perfect*, like a Disney story, or like those photos that you *so often* see online. There is never a *perfect* tutu moment, my lovelies. Unless, of course, it's *all staged.* And this is where I suggest the biggest secret…it's a simple and effective technique! "It's all in the staging."

So my dears, remember - tu-tu life is an unpredictable (but spectacular!) ballet, full of unexpected twists and turns. But…don’t worry, it’s part of the magic, the spectacle… it's ballet… and as always, darlings… the show must go on!