Darling, have you heard the latest scandal? The rumour mill is going into overdrive and, darling, it's about something that's been bothering me for ages: **tutus!**
Oh, they look so pretty from a distance, a swirl of tulle, a cloud of whispers of a hundred delicate shades of pink and lilac. But close up? It's all just netting, sticky with perspiration and the faint aroma of regret. **Tutuland,** they should call it. A land where every day is a never-ending game of *hide and seek*, playing peekaboo with the very wind!
You know I’m all about embracing my femininity, but those tutus just drive me batty! It's like wearing a billowing net curtain around the legs, except less stylish. Honestly, the amount of time I've spent battling my tutu to cooperate in class, I could have done a full pirouette, landed gracefully, and mastered the **penché** with an elegant aplomb!
Now, don’t get me wrong, there's a time and a place for the perfect tutu – that magical twirling moment in Swan Lake or the soaring elegance of Sleeping Beauty – a vision of ethereal loveliness.
But, darling, what’s going on with the state of tutus on the dance floor in recent months? It’s almost as though a hurricane has swept through the ateliers and scattered fabric remnants in every conceivable shade, size, and style. Where’s the elegance? The poise? The sheer sartorial joy?
Some of my favourite ballerinas are caught in an endless cycle of tutus: The puffy **pouffy** tutu - is that a fluffy cat hiding beneath the fabric? Then there's the *duster*, billowing behind like a mischievous child's discarded teddy. Let’s not forget the ever-popular **poodle tutu** - that disastrous, flouncy, full-blown mess.
Here's a word of advice from your friend, the dance-obsessed but fashion-forward diva: Darling, it’s time to stop the madness. If you must wear a tutu, there are some things to keep in mind:
- Choose a **classic tutu** for its elegant grace - one that can't possibly hide a missed arabesque or a less-than-perfect plié.
- And for goodness' sake, consider a little **panache**, darling! What about a dash of tulle and feather on one side and the softest velvet ribbons? That's all about keeping the tutus out of *turmoil.*
- Now, before we lose all hope of tutuland becoming chic again, just keep this thought in mind - it is 24 September, 2000. The world is changing. But for us, the lovers of dance, there is always hope of seeing the graceful tulle twirl and twirl once again!
Now, excuse me while I retreat to my tutu haven, where all is calming, soothing, and stylish. After all, one can only rant for so long. The next step is for me to design the **‘perfect’ tutu.** Oh, the drama!
I must get out the velvet ribbon! ?