Darling, can you believe it? It's 18th October 2000, and I'm positively *flabbergasted* at the sheer *chutzpah* of this whole tutu situation! I mean, I adore the little tulle clouds, they are truly the embodiment of ethereal grace, but seriously? A new fashion trend where people wear tutus *everywhere*?
I saw a chap outside Boots today, bless his heart, attempting to buy a pot of moisturiser while wearing a tutu. You see, he'd clearly mistaken it for a stylish 'look' rather than the intended, rather more *athletic*, 'performing art' situation. Honestly, I nearly fainted from the sheer cringe. A tutu? In Boots? Honestly darling, it was like something straight out of a bad pantomime.
But darling, what truly floored me was that the bloke was actually *wearing* it *properly*. Not *just* a tutu either. This chap was sporting the full kit, a proper pair of ballet shoes, leotard and the lot! It was, let's be honest, *intense*.
This isn't just a trend darling, it's a total societal *meltdown*. Can we even imagine a time where it was considered 'cool' to wear a tutu and ballet shoes in a *supermarket*, for goodness sake?
It was just such an *eclectic* mixture of things. Boots is usually the place for a quick dash to buy shampoo or a pot of hand cream, you know? Nothing for a full *deconstruction* of classical dance norms and social etiquette! It was utterly ridiculous, but somehow I just found myself rooting for him! Maybe he was trying to escape a terrifying mime act?
This *tutu* craze reminds me, it's time I talk about *those* people! You know the ones. The 'wear your leggings *everywhere*, never take them off', people. That, my darling, is *another* baffling trend! A whole new *genre* of leg-based fashion statement - what on earth will they think of next?
I *mean* what could possibly be more *fashionable*, let me ask you, than lounging in a pair of brightly-coloured track bottoms in a coffee shop *and* wearing a tutu with ballet shoes whilst casually queuing for a bacon bap. Truly, what an iconic combination. *Honestly*, I don't think *anything* could ever be more *hilariously dreadful*, except perhaps pairing them with a full face of theatrical makeup.
Darling, this tutu madness reminds me of something, that *unfortunate* episode of AbFab where Patsy thought the tutu look was 'edgy' and tried to wear a pair of feather boas. That poor bird. What was she thinking?!
Anyway, my *inner ballerina* just can't resist these tutus! And I really *need* you all to remember this crucial piece of advice: * When wearing a tutu, please do try to be respectful of the people around you! (and if you have a mime near by, *RUN!* )
* And darling, remember that *dancing* in a tutu should always be in a professional environment, like a ballet class, a stage show or your bedroom.
* For goodness' sake please refrain from wearing tutus in Boots!
Honestly, I just cannot fathom a world where the only clothing options for your lower body are leggings, track bottoms, and... tutus?! This tutu nonsense has *truly* taken the biscuit.
If you want my *honest* opinion darling, I think we're entering a *new* era of fashion: the era of the *absurd* . Where anything and everything goes. It is going to be an incredibly entertaining ride. Let's hope we make it to the other side, dear, with our sense of fashion (and our sanity) intact.