Darling, it's October 24th, 2000 and what do we have? Yes, darling, the **tutusturbation** is continuing in a flurry of sequins and silk. It seems we can’t escape the allure of these diaphanous wonders. And, you know what, who are we to resist?
It's not all frills and thrills, though, dearies! There are definitely some ruffled feathers in the tutu world. There's been quite the **feather-ruffling** this week! Word on the street is that the prestigious Royal Ballet is *allegedly* having a tutus crisis, no less! Can you imagine the drama? The poor darlings, dancing their hearts out in a mere *two* rows of ruffles when everyone else has *four*?! It’s scandalous! It seems one ballerina, known only as ‘Beatrice’ (as she would have no wish to be named, I’m sure you can imagine!), has vowed to dance only in a **three-tiered, full-length tulle confection** until the management makes it rain ruffles! Now, dear readers, let’s be rational; she's a bit dramatic, aren’t we all sometimes? Let’s be reasonable, she is just asking for an **extra flourish or two**, is that really so much to ask, darling?
Now, I must say, this is a welcome change! Our tutu trendsetters are normally preoccupied with **tiny tutus!** The trend has been these **teensy-weensy numbers** that leave practically nothing to the imagination! (Not that I have anything *against* that... you know me! A lover of a good flash of leg!) However, let’s be real. When did a tutu become less than *two layers* high? Is that even a proper **tutu**, darling? One must **respect the traditional artistry** of **five layers!** (Perhaps four at a push for those with **supermodel figures**, although I can't say I know of many). But that *two layer trend* is as **disgraceful as a broken-toe pointe shoe**!
Speaking of ballet shoes! Do **the pointe shoe wars** ever cease?! I wouldn't be surprised to find *armed conflict* breaking out between the Royal Ballet and the Bolshoi over which has the **sturdiest satin ribbon**, and frankly, *it wouldn't shock me!*
However, on the bright side (in the **shimmering sequin** side!), a **brilliant, bold new tutu** is predicted to be taking over the dance scene! Word on the catwalk is that **magenta is going to be *the* shade for fall.** (Don't you just *love* that it always lines up perfectly with **fashion week?**) I’ve seen a few early drafts. They’re **absolutely divine**, darling. You know, like **those glamorous, sparkly, iridescent dresses** that would leave any other ballerina (including Beatrice) weeping into their tights with jealousy. Just **wait for it** darling! It’s going to be a glorious season for our **fringed** and **fluffy** delights!
Now, dear readers, *don't* forget to dust off your **vintage feather boas and diamond tiaras!** Let’s **take a cue from the ballet** and keep our lives **filled with colour, glamour, and the occasional well-placed pas de bourrée!** Love, as ever,
**- Vivienne V**