Oh, darling, gather 'round, for we have a scandal that would make even the most stoic ballerina blush! Yes, my dears, the world of ballet, that shimmering realm of grace and poise, is in a tizzy, all thanks to the little tutu that could, or rather, couldn't!
On this very day, December the 3rd, 2000, a rumour swept through the hallowed halls of the Royal Ballet, causing a veritable flutter of tulle. Apparently, dear Lady Penelope Featherbottom, a noted ballerina with a reputation for her divine pirouettes and an even more divine penchant for extravagant, *extra* tutus, was set to debut a new costume for the annual 'Nutcracker' performance. We're talking layers upon layers of *frou-frou* tulle, bedazzled with sequins that could rival the constellations, all shimmering like a disco ball on a sugar rush. Naturally, it was the talk of the town, or rather, the backstage.
Now, I must confess, this particular tutu had the gossipy pigeons cooing with excitement. The rumours flew thicker than feathers from a newly moulted swan, all about the *extra* *oomph* Lady Featherbottom was aiming for with this sartorial masterpiece. She was known for pushing the boundaries, my darling, but this was something else! Apparently, the skirt was so big, it was like a mini-tornado in human form, sweeping away stage props, tripping up fellow ballerinas and causing a very serious incident with a nearby orchestral oboe. The 'Nutcracker' performance was almost called off!
Naturally, we had to get to the bottom of this tutu drama. Our sources, let's just say, know a *lot* of things, tell me that the incident in question wasn't entirely Lady Featherbottom's fault, *oh darling*. Turns out, the new, 'enhanced' tutus were, dare I say it, the brainchild of a newly appointed costumier who had an idea of "dramatic and innovative" that seemed to involve attaching the entirety of the Bolshoi Theatre to the poor ballerinas' backs. Alas, dearie, *extra* doesn't always equal good, *and* that's the truth.
We had a chance to speak to the offending, erm, tutu in question. "I must confess, I do like a little... flourish, *dearest*," quipped the flamboyant Lady Featherbottom, batting her eyelashes as only a star ballerina can, "But alas, perhaps I overdid it. A little bit. A tad bit *too* much!"
She added, in a slightly quieter tone, "Frankly, my darling, that particular tutu needed to be grounded - quite literally. It was almost *a danger* to myself, to my fellow dancers, and most importantly to the safety of the Royal Ballet itself, the *daring* creation was nothing short of a, dare I say, 'tutu travesty!'"
Our sources inside the theatre tell me that after a serious incident involving a tutu-clad Lady Featherbottom barreling down the stage and landing smack dab in the middle of a stunned audience member's lap, (who later reported she 'thought she was being abducted by an angel', quite a sight I must say) the decision was made. No, not to *remove* Lady Featherbottom (well, not from the theatre), but to, well, *tame* the tutu, drastically, *darling*. The tutu was, er, *downsized* with a team of five seamstresses and a *small* pair of scissors, brought down to something resembling a standard, 'less is more' ballet tutu. Which was, apparently, a *great* relief to the stagehands, musicians and, well, most of the audience.
The show did go on, and, naturally, it was a *spectacle*, darling. But this incident has, you might say, made history in the *not-so-subtle* world of ballet. It is, after all, a reminder that while we may yearn for extra flourishes, and we, my darlings, do like our tutus big and dramatic (as they *should* be, naturally), *extra* sometimes goes, er, a bit *too* *far*, wouldn't you say? We *all* have a good chuckle over this 'tutu travesty', but as we say, 'All's well that ends well!' *Don't you think?* And I hear that Lady Featherbottom is looking to put out a new line of 'dramatic' but *not quite* as dramatic tutus in the new year... watch this space.
Stay fabulous, and *remember* – a good dose of humour in your tutu is, *always* in fashion!
And to end this lovely little tale, we at *Dancers & Dilemmas*, thought we'd give you a few little 'fun facts' about the wonderful world of the ballerina tutu!
- The ballerina tutu originated in the 1830s, designed to showcase the elegant *movement* of the dancers (the earlier versions *did* go pretty low, I can't even imagine them in an audience's lap!),
- Traditionally, they are made of multiple layers of tulle fabric (the number of layers *did* seem to fluctuate, hence the issues with our, erm, *Lady*),
- While tutus seem lightweight, the costumier *always* seems to make them *extra*, they actually weigh about 4 lbs (they are *not* that *easy* to carry around in, *dear*),
- And did you know, they are *not* machine-washable (there seems to be a serious *lack* of ballerina washing machine design *to date*...)
- That said, a new design has recently been put forth by a 'fashion' firm called *Tulle Too!, * I hear the prototype looks pretty *spectacular*! I hear *it* involves the tutus having some kind of self-cleaning function using, wait for it... lasers.
So, until next time, *darlings*, stay tuned! The *whirlwind* of the world of ballet, fashion, and *tutu* fashion, is just *getting* started!