Darling, itâs time for another installment of your favourite column - 'A Tutu Too Far' with yours truly, Delilah Divine. Oh darling, the world of ballet is a veritable circus of tutus, twirls and, frankly, sheer madness!
This week, the tutus are swirling faster than a Kylie Minogue tour bus! Yes, the rumour mill is positively buzzing about the **Grand Tutu Ball**, a charity extravaganza held at London's most opulent hotel, the Dorchester.
The aim, you ask? Well, darling, itâs to raise awareness and funds for a truly deserving cause â the preservation of the endangered pink flamingo. But you just know itâll be a riot! We've all heard the rumour mill swirling - Princess Beatrice is apparently planning a dance-off with Prince William! The Queen will be doing a royal pas de deux! Oh, the gossip!
However, before you all go bonkers with excitement and reach for your feather boas (letâs face it, thatâs the most likely part of this entire saga), we need to address a truly tragic situation!
The Tutu Crisis
I just had to share, darlings, about a rather dramatic incident at the Covent Garden Royal Ballet. You see, some unsuspecting member of the ballet troupe found herself in a terrible, awful, utterly terrifying predicament. Her tutu was⌠missing! Letâs just say a little tea was spilt (accidentally, of course), a couple of tears were shed (donât worry, the mascara held!), and, well, the culprit was none other than an incredibly naughty little monkey from the London Zoo! Imagine the poor creatureâs disappointment â tutĂšs just don't really make an appropriate monkey outfit.
The situation at the Royal Opera House quickly spiralled. You know how dramatic we balletomanes can be! We simply couldn't let such a travesty of a performance happen, so I whipped out my very own sequined sewing kit (my grandmama's, of course!) and with some sheer determination (and a bit of Bollinger bubbly), whipped up an entirely new tutu! Well, that's how the diva rolls.
Speaking of divas, did you see how outrageously stylish those gorgeous prima ballerinas were at last nightâs performance of âSwan Lakeâ?
- That crimson velvet tutu on Natalia Osipova? Simply breathtaking!
- And Alina Cojocaru â she really brought that crystal-encrusted number to life! I wouldn't dare even try on those beauties - too dazzling for a mere mortal.
Of course, the absolute crème de la crème of all things dance and glamorous was the utterly amazing âBallet Coutureâ exhibition at the Victoria and Albert museum. Did I spot the Queenâs favorite dancer there, darling? Of course! Sheâs apparently been sketching out some exciting new tutu designs for her royal granddaughter's next recital. Now thereâs a scoop for you! But my darling, keep this just between us.
However, enough of all these high-fashion escapades, because, letâs get real for a moment. Tutuâs may look lovely, but, darling, letâs just say they're not particularly comfortable! But my darling, can a dancer really expect a tutu to be as comfortable as those âbarely-thereâ Jimmy Choos? And, letâs be honest - those exquisite little slippers wouldnât exactly be practical in the real world! They just simply are not for âwalking aroundâ!
This week's "A Tutu Too Farâ is almost over. So until next time, darling, stay tutu-tiful! Oh, and don't forget, youâll find all my latest sartorial tips and advice on my new blog âTutuâs & Tartsâ! Happy twirling!