My darlings! It's been a long, dark few weeks for all of us, ever since... well, you know. So I thought, what better way to lift the spirits than with a little chuckle? Let's talk tutus! Now, I'm not going to get all *deep* about them, or their history. You know me, my loves, all about surface sparkle! I mean, what could be more dazzling than a cloud of tulle? It's basically a fairy's ball gown, only much, much more practical for kicking legs up to the ceiling, darling!
Okay, now, I just had a divine thought! We all know, there are tutus. And there are *tutues*. And dear God, let's be honest, I don't want anything *but* a *tutu*. And how do we know what we're getting? Simple! Look out for the classic, tried-and-true features, my pets!
First off: **It's got to be stiff. No limp, flimsy affairs here!** A real *tutu* will hold its own shape, no matter how vigorously you pirouette. Remember, darling, we're not *wearing* the *tutu*, we're *wearing the *tutu*! Make a statement!
And *then*, darling, you need the volume. A truly magnificent *tutu* will look like it's floating in the air, like a majestic swan about to land! All those layers! You'll need layers, my sweet, to create that sense of ethereal majesty. Think *The Swan Lake* swan queen! *Not* a sad swan from the lake who just needs to see a therapist! (Sorry darling, getting carried away.)
And let's talk color! I'm not saying don't wear pink (it's fabulous!) But why not experiment with a pop of colour? Purple! Blue! Yellow! Remember, darlings, tutus are meant to be seen. If it's subtle, you might be better off wearing a tea dress!
Speaking of *wearing*, we haven't even touched upon the importance of **THE *POSE*!** A *tutu* calls for *posture*. Like, you *cannot* simply prance around in a *tutu*, darling. Your head needs to be high! Should have been like that anyway! Chin up, darlings. A good *tutu* will *demand* to be showcased, so stand tall.
Now, the real fun part! *Styling* the *tutu*, darling! *I'm thinking*: a silk scarf draped just so! Maybe a delicate pearl necklace! Now, *don't* get me wrong, darling. A *tutu* does NOT need accessorizing to look divine, but it does like it! But always, always, keep it elegant!
Look, it's times like these that we need *some* joy! Don't just wear your *tutu*. Live your *tutu*. *Be* your *tutu*, darling! *It's* got your back! I know I *don't* need to remind you: no one can truly understand a *tutu* unless you *live* it, baby. (Not a reference to living on the streets. Though the poor things might do well wearing tutus, even *if* they might make the whole thing look more "dance recital" and not "runaway success"! Oh! Where was I? ...
Now, off to get ready! This *tutu* ain't going to wear itself!