Darlings! It's a glorious day, and not just because we've all just polished our pointe shoes and sniffed our new tutus, Oh no, my dears. Today, 09 November 2001, is a day of triumph for all us dancers and even bigger triumph for all of us who've always wondered "What's the deal with tutus?". The answer, darling, is nothing! They're utterly useless. Like an over-zealous boyfriend - all frills and no substance.
But not just any useless boyfriend, this useless tutu has just gotten a whole load of public attention today as part of a fabulous research study by the University of Oxford's Dance Research Institute that shows definitively - a tutu does nothing for a dancer except cause hilarity and possible injury to the ankles if they catch on the pointe shoe laces ( which lets face it, darling, has probably happened to us all!)
I mean, really, who invented these things, you may ask? Were they too busy doing important stuff to think "hey, we really need to create a fluffy, pouffy and cumbersome costume that hinders any proper movement"?
Now, don't get me wrong, dears. I love a beautiful, well-designed tutu. Especially when it's on someone else. And certainly I do look absolutely phenomenal when wearing one, no debate there. It's a real head-turner. But for performance? Give me a sensible leotard and tights any day. It shows off the dancer’s beautiful athleticism, you see, darling, not just their fancy frock!
So here are just a few fun facts about tutus gleaned from the Oxford University Research Institute study, reported exclusively in today's "London Evening Standard":
- Tutus weigh on average 15 kg more than a normal dance outfit and are usually only seen at a formal ballet performance
- A tutu can cost upwards of £5,000 depending on materials, craftsmanship, and size (the larger the tutu, the bigger the bill)
- If worn in high winds, they have been known to launch dancers up to 50 feet into the air
- They were actually invented as an inside joke. Apparently in the mid-1800s, the "Queen of the Dance", Madame Le Grand made tutus very fashionable. A famous dancer named Fanny Elssler had said "if the skirt's on the dance stage, you've gotta give it to her!"
The study by the Dance Research Institute went on to explore just why they became a hit and what role they play in modern society.
The conclusion: "To say they are "not quite right" would be a major understatement."
A spokesperson for the University, an eminent dance scholar, Dr. Gillian Ballett, had this to say. “Although this news may surprise some of our more fervent dance fans, our research demonstrates that the use of the tutu is nothing more than a fashion faux pas. The beauty of dance itself should be allowed to shine through. "
She goes on to say, "There’s an element of satire and performance, of theatre to be explored in tutus - they make it look like the dancer is almost soaring through the air, like some divine entity."
I say, if a divine entity can wear a giant piece of fluffy white material without tripping up, then that’s their business!
Now, I’m not saying I will never wear a tutu again, especially since my collection includes everything from the classic tulle to the modern metallic, but I will certainly think twice before throwing one on! I think I will stick with my sensible dance shoes, elegant leotards and stretchy tights. After all, dear darling, being able to move is more important than being fashionably fabulous.