Darling, it's me again, your resident ballet whisperer, back with a scoop hotter than a pliƩ in a studio with no air conditioning! As the wind howls outside (I do love a bit of British drizzle, don't you? So romantic, just like Swan Lake!), it seems the world of ballet is just as turbulent. What do I mean? Well, hold onto your pointe shoes, darling, because this one's a real knee-trembler. The big news this week is, dare I say it... tutus! Those iconic symbols of graceful swirls, have been thrown into, well, shall we say, a bit of a whirl! But worry not, my dears, we're about to unravel this fascinating, fabulous, and frankly fabulous bit of balletic drama!
The drama, my pet, all began with a "revolutionary" (as the fashion press have so wonderfully labelled it) design unveiled at the grand opening of the new Ballet Boutique on Regent Street. Think sequins, feathers, more sequins, and then even MORE sequins. They call it "deconstruction", darling, which basically means they ripped up the usual ballerina outfit and gave it a bit of aā¦ shall we say, re-imagining!
But this wasn't your average re-imagining! Think, darling, "disco ball" meets "punk princess" and you'll be getting close! The revolutionary new "tutu", as they are audaciously calling it, is a... wait for itā¦ an *asymmetrical, layered concoction, sporting a skirt that resembles a burst firework and an absurd number of feathers, which are (and I quote the fashion magazine) "designed to "empower the female form". " Empower? I'm not so sure! The thing is about as practical as a tiara on a rollercoaster, darling! The feathers are, of course, just begging to be trampled on! "Dangerous!" some might say, "Divine!" others would retort. Let's just say itās more "chaos" than āballet."
The world of ballet has, of course, been, to say the least, flustered. Traditionalists are clutching their pearls while modernists are doing pirouettes of delight. But who is really to blame for this radical transformation, my darlings? We mustnāt be rash in finger pointing. Is it the young, edgy designer? The increasingly desperate search for fresh angles? Or the insatiable appetite of the fashion press to keep ballet on the front pages, come what may! Who can say? One thing is for sure though, the future of the tutu is very definitely up in the air (and quite frankly, some of those feathers are a little high maintenance even for *me* darling).
Here's the low-down on the "new tutu":- The design was allegedly inspired by a "chance encounter" the designer had with a flock of pigeons outside a posh cafƩ.
- The skirt has approximately 4,500 individual feathers hand-stitched into place - so let's just say, that is ONE expensive tutu (goodness me!)!
- The entire ensemble, including a "micro-cropped" (read "tiny") bodice, cost a whopping Ā£3,000 - so much for affordable ballet!
- Apparently, "professional ballet dancers were brought in for a "test-run", but letās be honest darling, those dancers probably only took a few, tentative steps. Even those poor dear's are likely terrified of losing an eyelash on the jagged edges of those feathers!
But back to the "revolutionary" tutu itself. Can something truly radical even happen in the world of ballet, you may ask? The ballet world *does* have a fascinating tendency to circle back on itself darling, after all! Look, if they weren't bringing in the boys and girls for some pretty *eye-catching* fashion moments every now and again, what would we have to talk about over cocktails with the girls, darling? We love ballet, but a little bit of a visual spectacle doesnāt go amiss, I think! (Though we will all definitely be looking away from our gin and tonic at those feather bits ā who wants to be accused of getting *that* particular *kind* of āeye-catching* during a conversation! Just imagine *that* fashion disaster!
It all brings to mind a recent episode in "The Crown," when the Queen Mum makes the observation (in true āMum" style of course) that all that really matters about ballet is "getting to watch a little lady wearing a pretty dress.ā And frankly, my dears, she does have a point, does she not? At least with *those* little lady ātutusā, they didnāt leave a trail of sequins, feathers, and confused feathers! Thatās just *the* thing about tutu history, my darlings. A constant battle between style and substance, feathers and practicality, glamour and good old-fashioned graceful elegance! All in all, the new, audacious tutu has the world in a frenzy darling. Just imagine, maybe this could be the start of a whole new era! Who knows, maybe these wild creations will even end up on the stage of Covent Garden in due time! Well, here's to the fabulous absurdity of ballet! But in the meantime, darlings, until next timeā¦ and remember, *wear* your fashion but always remember to wear it *well*. Cheers!