Well darlings, I must confess, my darlings, this whole "tutu" situation has got me utterly flummoxed! You see, I'm not one for a bit of tut-tutting – you know me, always looking on the bright side, especially when it comes to the gloriously graceful world of ballet!
Now, where do we even begin? I'm thinking December the 4th, 2001. Can you imagine? A world without the swirling magic of tulle! The very thought makes me feel as wobbly as a beginner trying to execute a double pirouette. And the horror! Not only is the world devoid of that magical, fluttering delight of a tutu, but the dancers are reduced to simply… clothes? It's a tragedy! A sartorial catastrophe of the highest order!
Picture it, dear readers, a stage draped in the most exquisite hues of moonlight, and then… oh dear… there, standing centre stage, a dancer clad in the most mundane of attire! No, darling, it just won't do! Think of the sheer visual spectacle of a ballet – all those airy twirls, those impossibly elegant leaps, and those oh-so-fabulous footwork! It wouldn't be the same, my dears. Simply wouldn't do.
Imagine the agony, the sheer agony! My favourite ballet shoe brand, "Toe-Tastic", with a shop on every corner! They would be begging for scraps! But don't despair, my precious fashion darlings. Surely we can get a few influential figures on board? Who knows, maybe David Beckham, sporting a jaunty, custom-made tulle creation for the evening? Or, imagine, Victoria Beckham, sporting an entire ball gown crafted from that luxurious fabric? Yes! It would certainly make a splash. We must be resolute. No tutu? Not a chance, not in this lifetime.
In the meantime, I'm taking things into my own hands. I've sent a strongly worded, though always well-mannered, letter to the Royal Ballet. I am quite confident that they, being true devotees to the divine elegance of the art, will take action. It simply cannot continue this way! And to all you ballet fans, do what you can, dear hearts. Send letters to the newspapers. Tell the world what you feel. You may not have to face a world without tutus after all!
Now, I must go, but do make sure to keep a sharp eye out for any whispers of a ballet rebellion. It could all change in the blink of an eye, darling. A revolution for fashion is afoot!
Here are just a few reasons why tutus are the be all and end all of dancewear: * **Oh darling, have you ever witnessed a true, proper pirouette? A tutu makes the swirl a breathtaking dance of poetry, a dream come alive on the stage.** * **Imagine a ballerina, poised on the point of her toe, arms gracefully extended... and all you see is the boring black of leotards and tights. Tututastic, I say, is the only way to go.** * **Tutues aren't just clothes, darlings. They are art! Each layer, every graceful movement of that exquisite tulle, creates a canvas, a poem of light, a visual poem of motion that can leave one completely breathless.**
Let's show the world the true power of the tutu. We'll give them a twirl, and a grand jete to remember, because darling, without a tutu, we'd be dancing to a far less delightful tune!