Darling, you simply wouldn't BELIEVE what happened today! It's a real corker, so grab a cuppa, settle in and let your inner ballerina loose!
The year is 2002, and, well, let's just say things have been a little 'tutu' exciting. Not the sort of tutus we see on those perfectly coiffed darlings at the Royal Opera House, no, these are the ones found lurking in the back of your Gran's wardrobe, lovingly crafted from what can only be described as a *whirlwind* of pink chiffon, and dotted with what appears to be vintage *tins* of sparkly fabric glue.
Apparently, it all started at a rather unfortunate, and, to be honest, quite dreary meeting at the *Association of Ballet Appreciation's* headquarters in Birmingham, yes Birmingham, darling. (You know how those Midland towns can be...). Anyway, amidst all the discussions on "the importance of classic choreography" and "the merits of pointed shoes vs. demi-pointe", a peculiar development arose - the 'tutu rebellion'. Now, you see, the Association, in their infinite wisdom, had proposed a new, updated rule: **all tutus had to be in 'muted tones', preferably black or navy**. Yes, I know, shocking, right?
Naturally, the response was immediate and explosive. As one brave, little, (well, not really 'little' more like, 'rather large'), but certainly determined member, Mildred Crump, declared - * 'this is not acceptable! You can't tell us to be boring! A tutu is a statement! A *dance* with colour! A testament to all things twirling and sparkly - how can we be expected to portray the beauty of Swan Lake if we look like - gasp - funeral directors?"
Darling, you can just imagine the *chaos*. Tears were shed. Fainting occurred (mainly from the smell of vintage glue) and even a rogue shoe was flung (thankfully, a ballet shoe not a Crocs!) The 'muted tones' rule was summarily defeated!
You know, it wasn't just about the tutus themselves, darling. It was about the principle of the matter! Do we want ballet to become boring and monochrome, all the colours of our youth and exuberance banished? It was a stand against beige and the *drab*! A resounding 'YES' for all things frilly and flamboyant!
Now, some say it was just a publicity stunt orchestrated by the Association's president, the enigmatic and perhaps *slightly* overdressed Lady Beatrice, who herself was renowned for her collection of iridescent purple tutus - each designed with a tiny portrait of Frederick Ashton embroidered onto the bodice - how *divine* ! But who are we to judge?
Whatever the reason, the *tutu rebellion* did spark a remarkable resurgence of interest in dance, especially amongst the older generation - imagine, a 70-year-old Gran in a fluorescent pink tutu whizzing through a village hall doing *cha-chas*, simply *hilarious* and heartwarming!
Anyway, darling, the message is clear: life's too short for beige, never be afraid to be flamboyant and **always** embrace a good tutu!