Fun Ballet Tutu News 2098

Dearest readers,

You know how much I adore a good tutu. They’re like little edible fairy cakes of frills – whimsical, delightful and totally delicious! Today, however, on this lovely spring day, March 31st 2002, the world of tutus has been shaken, yes, shaken! (If you’ll excuse my theatrical flair!) It’s all gone a bit ‘topsy turvy’, darlings. The scandal of the season, my dears, the most shocking development since the Royal Ballet’s decision to perform “Swan Lake” with a tap-dancing swan (let’s not dwell, dear readers) – the tutu, as we know it, is facing a *threat*, my dears, a *threat*.

The story? A young, bright-eyed and utterly flamboyant designer, Rupert St. James, has dared to defy the sacred traditions of dance by creating what he’s calling “the Anti-Tutu.”

• Firstly, it’s made of denim! Denim, my dears, a fabric best suited to overalls and perhaps a questionable pair of jeans. You know, not the stuff dreams are made of. But Rupert, in his boundless youthful audacity, has paired this rather, *rustic*, fabric with – get this – a *sequinned bodice*! The horror, the horror!
• Secondly, it's *short*. Short, as in above-the-knee. I don’t know what Mr. St. James was thinking! What do we, dancers, want, darling? We want flowing layers, that softly caress our calves! Why expose that perfectly toned leg? For shame!
• Thirdly, this so-called ‘anti-tutu’ is actually trousers! You heard me right! Trousers! The scandal! It’s just unthinkable, isn’t it? Where will it end? The Royal Opera House will be hosting hip hop next, and then everyone will start using the phrase "ballet class" without a touch of irony!

The "Anti-Tutu” has naturally been met with both outrage and fascination – you’d think they’d unveiled a new style of pointe shoe. The dancers, predictably, are divided. Some call it ‘ground-breaking’ and a "liberation from the constrictions of tradition," and I confess I do understand the *whimsy* of a ‘denim dream’.

Others have expressed, as one very esteemed ballerina, Miss Daphne Willoughby-Fenton put it, that it's a *monstrosity* and 'an offense to everything we hold dear.' (Well, perhaps I might be adding a bit of melodrama to that quote. Miss Willoughby-Fenton's words were more... "rather distasteful").

I can’t say, my dears, what will happen to the ‘Anti-Tutu.’ Will it be an iconic revolution? A fashion ‘faux pas'? A short-lived dance fad? Or is it the 'next big thing'? (Let’s be honest, nothing *that* groundbreaking). The only thing certain is this – our ballet world, for now, at least, is anything but "déjà vu"

Until next time, darlings, stay elegant!

Yours in Tulle and Triumph,

Beatrice 'Bee' Bradshaw