Darling, you wouldn’t believe the drama at the Royal Opera House last night! The ballet, Swan Lake, you see, went off without a hitch… well, almost. It seems the entire production almost went down the swan dive thanks to, yes, you guessed it – **TUTUs!**
The lead ballerina, the absolutely divine and statuesque Natasha Petrovna (you know, she’s the one who can literally do a pirouette on a pinhead!), was due to take her final bow, all eyes on her gorgeous tutu – a magnificent, feathered creation the colour of dawn, and all… it went *KAPUT*.
Not only did the tutu – a genuine, one-of-a-kind design by the esteemed and rather flamboyant Monsieur Fabrice - collapse under the weight of its own magnificence (and probably some glitter glue!), but the poor, darling, Natasha ended up tripping on its… er, debris! Thank goodness she’s a natural on stage! It was such a close call, it gave us all a fright. All eyes went to the royal box – just imagine the scandal if someone *that* famous had been the one to trip!
Well, let me tell you, the atmosphere in the auditorium was electric. I think for a moment even the chandeliers were holding their breath! We could literally hear a pin drop (or maybe a pearl from the tiara of a very nervous Countess!)
It took mere seconds, but it seemed like forever, for Natasha to gather herself. She threw a defiant glance towards the heavens (it’s a good job the stage lighting was strong!), threw up her arms in a rather elegant ‘oh dear!’ gesture, and finished the performance – no mean feat when you consider she had half a tutu stuck to her ankle!
As the curtains closed, the orchestra gave a most enthusiastic encore – it’s as if the whole of Covent Garden had released a breath it’s been holding in! Honestly, you’ve never seen anything quite so dramatic – though, I do wish the dear, darling Natasha could have avoided a trip-up on stage.
But, this being London, we weren’t let off the hook there! After the bows, there was a bit of an *embarrassment*. A group of men – let's call them ‘tutu enthusiasts’ – decided that this was their chance to pay tribute to the fallen tutu (what is it about these men? Oh dear, it appears one was holding aloft a *tutu-themed handbag*! You just couldn't make it up!), they tried to storm the stage!
I won't bore you with the details (I don’t even have time to *breathe*, my darling!), but the outcome is: one (well-dressed) man wearing the tutu of his dreams! He was carted away (with a bit of a huff) by a security team that was definitely not dressed in tutu-related fashion.
Naturally, the *Guardian* went to town on it, running a rather *grand* headline - "From Stage to Street - One Man, One Tutu, and Chaos!”
It was such a scandal, it almost put **The Royal Wedding** in the shade! Almost! But as much as we enjoyed the excitement of it all, Natasha, our absolute heroine, should be lauded. It was a triumphant feat of grace, poise and panache - she turned what was a potential disaster into the most elegant recovery. That's true *diva* status, darling!
And that tu tu tutu, we can all agree that it will now take a place of honour - and maybe, just maybe, it might inspire someone to make their very own haute couture tutu collection. This is what we call fashion! I’d love to see a show, complete with feathers, sequins and all the drama it can possibly muster. Darling, I can feel it in my bones – **this is the year of the tutu**!
Anyway, I must go – I’m already late for my afternoon tea with Dame Judith Dench, but I will definitely tell you all about the conversation! Oh, and, of course, I must find out more about Monsieur Fabrice – he's certainly not afraid of a little drama, is he?
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***Now for our regular **Ballet Notes*** ***
And for all those wanting to make a real statement at your next social gathering:
- *For a classic take on tutu inspiration* - Consider a simple black dress (this doesn’t have to be little, darling!), team it up with your favourite black ballet shoes (I find a delicate pair in a pointed shape is the way to go! If they've got a bit of sparkle to them, you’ve found a winning combo!), and some serious statement jewelry - like a vintage brooch that might just make everyone think you're *that* lady. Remember, the *less* makeup, the more impactful you’ll be. Darling, I always say – a little black dress is always *tres chic*.
- *For a modern and fun touch* - We all love the 90s resurgence - so a mini skirt with some great tights and boots and maybe a little oversized, ruffled shirt and it's *all* in the hair and makeup! If you've got some skills (I am *all* about that face, you know) – try a little red lipstick. And for your hair - think big! Some serious hairspray is all that’s required. Oh, and maybe, a bright-coloured headband to tie the whole look together - and a great little bag with lots of fringe - for good measure!
- *A dash of the *extra*, because we *all* deserve it sometimes* – There are no rules here! Let’s be honesty – who hasn't thought about going out in a tutu?! Now is your chance! A mini-tutu – think bright colours! - and add some long black gloves - just like those divine French actresses from the 40s, darling, (and they’d never tell anyone about the gloves if they'd got them on, darling – so neither should we!) Don’t be afraid to get all dolled up! Add in a dramatic eyeliner and you’re ready to go! It's time to *take centre stage*, darlings! And if you happen to come across the Royal Opera House while out and about, you might just see *this* girl – but only if she's wearing a tutu… *
*Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go find that tutu - because I have a feeling *it* could just make the perfect outfit! XOXO*