Oh, darling! Can you believe itās 18 May 2002? Itās like, *just* yesterday I was practicing my pirouettes in a dusty little dance studio in suburban Kent, dreaming of one day twirling in a shimmering tutu on a grand stage! Speaking of tutus, darling, you just *wonāt* believe what happened today ā the tutu-licious news just keeps rolling in! Letās raise a glass of champagne (or a bottle of Elderflower cordial, as you like!) and dive into this absolutely fabulous world of ā¦ tulle!
First up: The Big Tutu Recall! Yes, my dears, you heard it here first: Apparently thereās a *huge* problem with tutus, and not just those flimsy little ones your little cousin wore to her ballet recital. No, darling, weāre talking serious *designer* tutus, the kind you *dream* of wearing at the Royal Opera House!
The issue, darling? Apparently some tutus (and letās face it, weāre talking about some real vintage beauties, not just your run-of-the-mill tutus, *cough* *cough*, *looking at you, Madame Butterfly*) were, shall we say, āinspiredā by the colour pink but then somehow turned, well, *puce*. A dreadful shade!
Oh, the *horrors*! We can't have our prima ballerinas looking like a flock of drunken flamingos on stage, can we? I mean, *come on!* Itās simply not the *look*. So, my lovelies, if you have any *old* pink tutus stashed in your wardrobe, perhaps tucked away in your mumās attic ā donāt panic, donāt cry! Just go through them *immediately*!
Next, our tutu experts say: Donāt *ever* dry-clean your tutu! I know, I know, *shocked faces,* darling! But here's the truth, like *your* best friend, I wouldnāt lie to you: Apparently itās absolutely disastrous! Dry cleaning, darling, *ruins* the magic of a tutu. Youāve got to air dry those delicate fabrics. You know, hanging it up in the sunshine and *feeling* that glorious sun on your delicate, oh so very precious tulle. Donāt let the dry cleaners take away its lovely āvintage chicā by *over-cleaning* those delicate frills.
**Finally, my darling dancers: The news weāve all been waiting for. ** The Tutu Awards are going to be bigger than *ever* this year. The nominations, as weāre talking a very *exclusive* group of tutu enthusiasts - think haute couture for tutus ā have been made, darling, and the *glamour* is through the roof!
Imagine it, my sweet: a *tutu* for every occasion!
* **Best tutu for the red carpet*:** The **Tutu Trophy**, no less. Darling, a real feather in your hat (well, more like a sparkling bow on your head).
* **Best Tutu for a Day at the Races***: The **Horse Whisperer Tutu** award. You know you need a tutu for those special, important dates, darling ā *perfect* for making a fabulous entrance in that sleek black evening gown.
**And last but not least:** *Best Tutu for your everyday, casual activities,* ā the **Darling, Don't be A Diva Award** ā darling, I mean, *you* could use a few of those. Letās face it, all that shopping, lunch with the girlsā¦ We need a bit of comfort, donāt we?
Now *that's* a tutu to celebrate. But remember, darling, itās about finding the right *attitude*, the perfect *sparkle*, and, oh darling, the right kind of **tulle**.
Don't be afraid to embrace the fabulosity of tutu ā the future is now! You heard it here first, darlings!