Darling readers,
Gather 'round, darlings, for a truly scandalous exposé, a tale of tulle, temperaments, and a most outrageous "Tutu Tuesday!"
It's 22nd May 2002, and as a true fashionista, I just HAVE to tell you about this most outrageous spectacle I witnessed at the Royal Ballet, darling. Imagine, the entire cast of Swan Lake, in those fabulous fluffy tutus (absolutely divine, naturally), and, well...
… let's just say the feathered headdresses weren't the only thing that took flight that night. Our esteemed lead swan, a young Miss Daphne Devereux (her swan-like grace, utterly to die for, you know!), she just went off on her "Prince Charming" about the tutus, darling. I mean, I've seen prima donnas have hissy fits over a rogue feather or two, but Miss Devereux?
It was truly a 'scene'! Apparently, the offending tutu was not the standard swan white, oh no, dear readers, it was a daring shade of pink. Now, I'm no fashion novice, you know? I know my shades of pink! This was not "pale pink," not even "baby pink," but "Barbie Pink," with sequins and rhinestones, and a very alarming little black bow perched right where... Well, let's just say it was a "statement." The poor fellow (his name is, erm... Derek? Or David? - oh, these boys!) found himself the recipient of a rather harsh and loud ballet "lesson" - involving a thrown feather boa and a particularly rude ballet step, the one that looks like a goose flapping its wings, you know? Oh, it was hilarious. The whole audience just gasped!
Now, the other ballerinas (and those, I assure you, were absolutely in the right - darling, their tutus were exquisite, perfectly "white swan" and tasteful, all that one might desire, honestly!) just burst into giggles and the whole thing came to a rather chaotic end. There was some whispered murmuring about the "director's notes," which, I daresay, was just another euphemism for, "she's been reading Vogue and is taking the tutu trend to its, erm... limit!"
But darling, the truly remarkable bit is how this whole "tutu turmoil" inspired the press! There were headlines like "Swan Lake Turns Pink" and "Prima Donna Wows with Her Tutu Choice," all the magazines, my darling, all the newspapers! Even the most un-fashion-conscious were caught up in it! The only thing hotter than the ballet that night was the discussion of what constituted the perfect tutu. A perfectly timed controversy, really. Now that's what I call a "ballet story," sweetness.
And, naturally, the news has inspired an influx of "pink swans" to be spotted at every ballet party. Not that anyone actually needs a pink tutu to know what's what. It's simply become part of our cultural fabric. This tutu was a real game-changer darling. It's the equivalent of having your fashion photos in Vogue or wearing a diamond tiara. It makes people remember you for the rest of their lives - although, perhaps I should whisper that you do need a rather certain sense of stage presence to pull it off! But, if you’ve got it… darling… well… I shall simply leave it at that.
So, darling, next time you are tempted by a pink tutu… or simply find yourself drawn to those little black bows… take a page out of Daphne’s book. This girl knows her fashion and she isn't afraid to own it! Now if you'll excuse me, my dears, I just heard that "Barbie Pink" tutus have hit the fashion houses. This might mean I'll need to go shopping.