Oh, Darling! It’s a Tutus-Tastic Tuesday!
Oh, my darlings! How is everyone? Absolutely splendid, I hope? Have you had a glorious day, full of cocktails, frocks and fabulousness? Well, darlings, buckle up, because we've got a truly titillating, tutus-tastic story that will make you laugh until your little dance shoes fall off!
This is going to be the hottest dance news story in decades. Brace yourselves, kittens!
The esteemed Royal Ballet Company is in a complete, and I mean *complete* fluster because the dancers, oh dear, the poor sweet dancers - all 67 of them – have *gone* missing. **Yes, 67 of the Royal Ballet dancers! Gone!**
- Poof!
- Vanished!
- Sailed away into the sunset like some spectacular, shimmering Swan Lake performance?
Well, not quite! It seems our beloved dancers got swept up in the glamorous madness of… **TUTU MADNESS**! Apparently, they’ve all run away together, and the last place anyone saw them was at a *tutu convention*!
You’ve heard of the Comic-Con, BookFest… but the “**Tutu Con**”? This year’s festival in **Folkestone, Kent** was a smashing success, attracting fans of dance, tutus, and the glorious grandeur of a classic ballerina look, darling! But apparently, it became just *too much* for the dancers.
We’re not talking just a bunch of *normal* tutus either! Apparently, the dancers are *obsessed* with the flamboyant, frilly delights of the tutus. It’s like… *tutumania* has gripped the Royal Ballet, like some theatrical form of the flu!
- Tutusitis?
- Tutu Fever?
- The Big Tutu Bounce?
I tell you, I just *don’t* know! Whatever you call it, it’s certainly got a grip on the poor darlings! Now, I adore a fab tutu as much as anyone - you know my love for tulle, darlings - but all 67? Gone, *missing* in a whirlwind of feathers and fabric?!
Now, here’s the funny thing. It’s not just *any* tutus, my darlings. No, these are all **extremely** limited edition tutus, from **very** special couture ateliers, you see. I’m talking the crème de la crème of tutus. Hand-stitched with the finest tulle, glittering jewels, hand-painted with exquisite detail - tutus that are normally kept locked away in temperature-controlled, velvet-lined boxes. Oh, they *are* something! Imagine the *cost*!**
So what do they intend to do with them? Good heavens! One source, shall we call her *Miss Prissy*, a little birdy with close connections to the royal dancers, told me in complete confidence (under the strict condition that her identity was to be kept completely anonymous!) that the dancers are thinking about building their very own tutu boutique. You know - with tea and biscuits. A lovely little place where *all* dancers, whether *they* belong to a ballet company or *not* (though preferably, dearie, in the *ballet company*,) can come to be *totally* adorned. In tutus! Well, darlings, they really do think of everything, don't they?!
“A tutu-emporium," I heard her say. *Imagine* it, dear! It would certainly be something! A most *peculiar* kind of *dance studio*, indeed!
But *do* they realize, darlings, that *none* of them are qualified in *selling* a *single* tutu, darling? And what’s more – *where* will *they* find the money for *rent*? Even a tiny space!
What will they do? Who knows?! Perhaps it is just another ridiculous ballet *fad* … And it will pass like any *fad*. I’m sure someone will come along and “set the dancers right" – they usually do. Oh, yes! The ballet world – always quite dramatic and full of secrets, *isn’t* it, darling?
**For the moment, we can’t reveal the exact location of the Tutumains (let’s call them that – quite chic! ), because their secret meeting place has yet to be established, darlings, but as soon as it is revealed - we *will* let you know… *Trust me*. **
Stay tuned, my darlings! I just *know* we’ve got ourselves some grand times ahead, filled with the froth and fancy of all things tutu! I wouldn’t *miss* it for the world!