Oh, darling, you wouldn't believe the scandal that erupted at the Royal Opera House last night! It seems that someone, *gasp,* actually dared to question the sacred, the glorious, the tutu! Yes, that's right, dear reader, a tutu.
Let's rewind a bit, shall we? I was nestled into my velvet box, champagne flute in hand (Laurent-Perrier, of course, my dear!), completely captivated by the opening scene of "Swan Lake." The corps de ballet, breathtakingly graceful in their shimmering tutus, were pirouette-ing their little hearts out. And then it happened. The lights dimmed, the music changed, and this – this *creature* - with his loud shirt and ill-fitting jeans, leaned over to his companion and *shouted,* "Are those things even comfortable?"
Well, darling, you could have heard a pin drop. The whispers started, the stares intensified, and even the *singers* in the orchestra seemed a little stunned. Then, one of the ballerinas - you know, the one who can do that double fouetté with a twinkle in her eye - well, she *smiled* and in the most *deliciously* biting British accent said, "Darling, I can assure you, after months of training, this is all *utterly* uncomfortable!"
Now, you wouldn't expect me, with my lifelong devotion to all things dance and the impeccable style of a tutu, to agree with that brute! But you see, I can't help but wonder…
- Is a tutu actually more for the audience than for the ballerina? I mean, just picture those impossibly tight bodices and the acres of tulle... Can you imagine attempting a grand jeté in that? No, I don't think I can either!
- And speaking of comfort, the tutu has always seemed, shall we say, rather… “expansive” when it comes to coverage. What about some sleek leotards, perhaps a pair of tights with a dazzling crystal appliqué for a bit of added “sparkle”? After all, practicality doesn’t have to be boring!
I think it's time for a little debate, don't you? This isn't about destroying a dance tradition - I'd never dream of such a thing - but about rethinking it. About acknowledging that while beauty is important, it doesn’t necessarily have to mean pain and suffering.
So, my darlings, let's have a little discussion. Do tutus belong in the modern ballet, or are they relics of a bygone era? Have those frothy, ethereal gowns finally had their day, or should we keep twirling and be twirled by their magnificence?
Leave your comments below! Let's have some civilised discourse - even if you *are* one of those creatures in loud shirts and jeans... Now, back to my champagne, I've got a ballet to watch!