Dearest readers, I am positively beside myself with excitement to tell you all about this rather shocking development in the world of ballet. It seems that, as of yesterday, the 10th of March 1997, **tutus are officially out of fashion!** Oh, the scandal! The uproar! The gasps! Well, perhaps not, because most of you reading this probably couldn't tell a pas de deux from a pancake. However, here at "Dance Darling", we're in the thick of it, keeping a close eye on the ever-changing world of tutu trends. It's like... you wouldn't wear a pair of flares now, would you? Ahahaha! No! You'd be positively judged, darling. But what are we to do with all our perfectly poofy, beautifully layered tutus? *Sigh* We must keep calm and carry on, of course.
The news was delivered by none other than the esteemed, or shall I say, *highly eccentric* fashion guru, Mr. Hugo Hemlock. You know him, he's the man behind those daring, absolutely fabulous, hats that no-one would ever actually wear, but just *look* at them! The whole thing started with his, *shall we say,* *passionate* speech about the *'rigid, regimented, and frankly, ageing' * nature of the tutu. *Ooh* did he know we would be offended, darlings! It was then, as if by magic (or perhaps a cleverly placed bribe) that his rather alarmingly short-haired poodle trotted down the catwalk sporting a... gasp... a pair of shiny *leggings*. *Shocking*, yes? And it got worse! *Gulp* Apparently, it was *this* *shockingly simple, sleek garment* that was the *new standard of grace, fluidity, and freedom.*
Naturally, all hell broke loose, with prima ballerinas, their swans, and their snowflakes howling, weeping, and throwing... well, let's just say there were some choice dance shoes being thrown at the fashionistas in the front row. Such chaos!
However, darling, as with every trend, there are *always* exceptions! **What's to be done with all those tulle dreams?**
Here at "Dance Darling", we're already making plans. My own, simply darling little dog, Miss Millie, *who wouldn't wear a pair of leggings*, *bless her heart!* is, *let's just say, being assessed* to determine whether *her personal, canine aesthetic*, is compatible with this *brave new world.*
Now, in the name of *true* *dance*, we must be innovative and adaptable, as I am sure you will agree. *So, darlings,* what could we do with a *magnificent pile* of tulle?
*For starters:* * *The most obvious*: We could simply turn them into an outrageously extravagant, eye-catching dress. Why be subtle? *Especially* when it comes to dance. * *Of course* one can't forget the *potential* for some truly fabulous interior design. Just imagine, an entire living room with walls draped in tulle. It would be the perfect backdrop for, well, a rather fab dance-themed dinner party, wouldn't you agree, my darling readers?
As you know, darlings, I am ever *ready to lead the charge* *for everything beautiful, daring and fun,* and when it comes to tutus, **it's simply not over yet**!
So *pour yourself a cup of Earl Grey* and *pick up a tutu*! Oh, *oh,* and if you do *have a chance* to *throw on a pair* and do *some twirls*... well, *what could possibly go wrong?!*