Fun Ballet Tutu News 2600

Oh darling, gather round, gather round, you simply must hear this! The news just dropped and it's more scandalous than a rogue pointe shoe at the Royal Opera House! It seems our darling ballet world has been shaken, stirred, and spun right on its tutu, with a scandal so juicy it would make even the most rigid of ballerinas crack a smile (and maybe even a pirouette!).

The news broke this very day, 20 November 1996, like a sudden, unexpected fouetté on stage. A rumour that sent shivers down the spines of every prima ballerina, every seasoned choreographer, and even the grumpy old dance critic who wouldn't know a pas de deux from a pas de bourrée if it smacked him in the face with a feather boa. A scandal, darling, that threatens to tear apart the delicate fabric of our beloved ballet world!

What is this devastatingly dramatic rumour you ask? Well, dear readers, it’s far too dramatic, too devastatingly beautiful for words, and frankly I wouldn't have believed it myself, had I not been witness to the scandal unfold before my very own mascara-streaked eyes.

Imagine this, a breathtaking theatre, the majestic Royal Opera House in all its glory. It’s Opening Night for "Swan Lake." The audience is in raptures, they've barely even settled into their seats, let alone stopped chattering excitedly to each other, before they're enthralled by the breathtaking first act, the soaring music, and those dazzlingly white tutus swirling around the stage.

It’s a flawless opening, everyone's glued to the stage. But then, wait for it, the absolute, unimaginable moment that stopped the world in its tracks…the lead dancer, darling, the lead ballerina (the very beautiful, yet incredibly fierce and competitive, Fiona Flamingo - her family practically owns the entire ballet industry!), you see Fiona steps right onto the stage, in the most magnificent, shimmering white tutu you have ever laid eyes on...

It happens! Before Fiona's very first plié, the delicate tulle on her tutu suddenly unravels! Oh darling, the entire thing just rips into a million pieces! This delicate fabric of the very soul of ballet literally shatters and falls all over the stage like snowflakes in the blizzard of public humiliation!

Imagine, my darlings, that elegant ballerina in that exquisitely embroidered, flowing white tutu reduced to standing on stage, her exquisite bare back exposed to the glare of thousands of astonished faces, her legs exposed to the cold stage lights, all that was left of her white tutu swirling on the stage around her ankles!

Now, it wouldn't be a scandal if Fiona did the sensible thing and excused herself off stage. But no, my love, this is a woman of steel, of perfect control, and an absolute, dyed in the wool professional. So she does what any self-respecting ballerina would do. She throws off what's left of the destroyed white tutu and… she just keeps going! But then... wait for it, in a bold and totally unscripted, jaw-dropping, and, quite frankly, stunning gesture she snatches another tutu from the very next ballerina (oh darling, they really should hire more wardrobe staff at that prestigious opera house) - a beautiful but incredibly vibrant pink tutu - and as the other, now rather less glamorous ballerina, stands there speechless, Fiona pulls off a breathtaking, perfectly executed performance, and in a breathtaking moment of complete magic and genius, completely wins over the entire audience! It’s an absolute masterclass!

I can't tell you darling how quickly the backstage talk went round. There were murmurs, sighs and hushed whispers: " Was it deliberate? " " It had to be " "That's Fiona Flamingo for you" . " I heard she wasn’t getting along with the director and well she does love pink"! It's all terribly scandalous darling. It’s certainly all the talk among the fashionable ballet cognoscenti in all of London!

It was truly brilliant! It took the dance world by storm. The audience went absolutely wild, roaring their approval as Fiona finished the last dance. And for a few brief, thrilling moments, there wasn't a soul in the Royal Opera House that didn’t know they’d just seen something absolutely sensational. You must ask yourselves these key questions, darling:

• What will happen to Fiona Flamingo? Will she be the next international dancing superstar after her audacious display of prima ballerina magnificence?
• Will this be the beginning of a ballet revolution?
• Could this be the most inspiring, the most jaw-dropping act of a ballerinas’ career you've ever seen, or simply the end of Fiona Flamingo’s dancing life as we know it?

I do believe I shall have to be there next time they do Swan Lake at the Royal Opera House! That is, of course, unless it’s a new version of a certain dance featuring one pink tutu and the boldest, most beautiful ballerina on the entire ballet scene.