Oh darling, you wouldn't believe the absolute drama that unfolded at the Royal Opera House last night! It was like a scene straight out of a **Swan Lake** nightmare, but with less swans and more feathers flying everywhere. Honestly, you wouldn't catch me in one of those tutus, even if I was paid a small fortune – the fluffiness alone is enough to give me the shivers!
Anyway, back to the real-life **Strictly Come Dancing**-esque disaster. The big night arrived, you see, the premiere of the newly designed tutus. Now, you know the Royal Ballet, they like their tutus as traditional as a cuppa with milk and two sugars. So, when this upstart designer, a certain Ms. Vivienne Westwood (you know, the one with the wacky clothes), decided to revamp the tutus, everyone, and I mean everyone, had an absolute conniption!
I'm talking full-blown diva tantrums, you know, the sort where the prima ballerinas threaten to walk off stage unless the tutus are replaced. One poor girl, darling, she'd completely unravelled! Imagine, a delicate snowflake of a ballerina, her perfectly coiffed bun coming undone, mascara running down her face. All because of a slightly ruffled, *slightly* shorter tutu, that dared to show a smidgen more thigh. Oh, the tragedy!
Now, I have to admit, the new tutus were quite fabulous. They weren't just fluff and frills, but they incorporated these clever bits of, well, for lack of a better word, 'architecture'. You know, sharp lines, geometric patterns. Some were even transparent, *quelle horreur!* You could see their legs, it was practically indecent, though not unappealing, of course. The whole effect was quite shocking, a little bit daring, certainly more **modern** than the old, billowing, frilly tutus that resemble something out of **The Sound of Music**.
Sadly, though, all that daring didn't translate into grace and elegance, as some of the ballerinas seemed to have been possessed by a spirit of **street dance**, which is all well and good when you're sporting your tracksuit and sneakers, but decidedly not so in a £3,000 tutu. The stage was akin to a battlefield of clashing styles, all limbs and a flurry of frills. The old tutus definitely gave them more...control. A certain level of stability, if you will, that the modern versions seemed to lack.
So, the debate is on. Modern and **provocative** or traditional and **elegant**? Which will win out? Darling, you know me, I'm always up for a little *oomph* in my wardrobe. So, my vote? Modern tutus! They bring an exciting edge, a dash of the avant-garde to a classic art form. It's about time we stepped out of the shadow of traditional tutus, wouldn't you agree? And with the **whimsical** nature of Westwood's creations, who knows what tomorrow may bring? Maybe the tutus will sprout wings or begin to glow under the stage lights. Dare to dream, darlings! And whatever you do, if you find yourself backstage, don't mess with a ballerina and her tutu. It could end badly. Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for the **post-performance parties**, where rumour has it some rather delicious canapés will be served, courtesy of that naughty Ms. Westwood, the architect of this little sartorial drama!
I'm off to shop for a tutu, darling, one of my own, so stay fabulous!