**Ballet's Big Bust: Tut-Tastic Trend or Travesty?**
Dearest darlings,
Itās 13th January, 1997, and you know what that means? Itās the day we finally tackle a subject thatās been bubbling away in my boudoir for far too long ā tutus! Now, before you accuse me of getting my knickers in a twist (pun absolutely intended, darling), hear me out.
We all love a bit of ballet, right? It's graceful, elegant, and ā letās be honest ā it makes our thighs ache just watching it. But dear me, the whole tutu situation? Well, thatās a whole other story. And don't even get me started on leotards!
So, today, my dears, Iām delving into the wonderful, perplexing world of the tutu. Because frankly, those swirling skirts are as much a topic of discussion as a particularly juicy gossip item amongst the dance community, and Iām sure, with their reputation for impeccable form, these prima ballerinas are quite relieved they can't just call a ātime outā while wearing those very particular garments!
Now, first off, letās acknowledge the undeniable ā a tutu, even on a wobbly six-year-old at the local ballet school, is a marvel. It makes us say, "Oh, wouldnāt that be simply divine!ā But letās be frank. They also, quite frankly, give us the vapours. A tulle whirlwind, that thing's a serious wind resistance challenge, and itās a total fashion nightmare.
Do we really need to be subjected to all that volume? Seriously, they're practically parachutes, some of them! And as for the coloursā¦ Oh darling, are you feeling daring? I have a vision of the **classic pink**, that blush of a petal in the springtime. Or is **white** your penchant? As fresh and immaculate as the snow at the top of Ben Nevisā¦.
As a dance aficionado with a very keen eye for sartorial details, my thoughts on tutus are a complex dance in themselves.
I confess, sometimes they truly captivate. When a ballerina twirls across the stage, that diaphanous, airy tutu literally takes flight, a swirling vortex of sheer elegance. At that moment, I want nothing more than to don a tutu of my own. To float across the room, twirling amidst a whirlwind of tulle. My heart is pounding. Oh my heavens! This is it, Iām going to break into a twirl and be the prima ballerina, the center of the universe! Now, now, dear. Deep breaths. Reality is knocking at the door and itās got the makings of a major ātut-tdown,ā if you get my drift, dear!
Unfortunately, reality strikes in a fashion-faux-pas kind of way. Those tulle masterpieces donāt really do it for the rest of the day. In the office, my dear, the tutu simply will not cut it. There are, in fact, certain limitations that I feel we need to have a very honest, mature and very lady-like discussion about!
Honestly, have you ever attempted to pack a tutu into a bag without it resembling a deflated birthday balloon? You simply can't achieve the effect you wish for. It looks utterly absurd. I would never do such a thing, of course. Never.
We must always, but always remember, dear, our dear, delicate frames. They, quite frankly, weren't meant for the constricting leotard life! We might just be dancing to the beat of our own drum in our 30s, but thereās a bit more... well, 'usā that needs accommodating and, truth be told, some of us simply won't tolerate those dance leotard trends, even if they were a whole 3 sizes bigger!
The ballet world might not want to see me in my new leotard and the new, bigger "meā and maybe, for once, theyāre not that far off!
However, this all reminds me, darlings, of a little ditty about ballerina fashion. (Oh darling, do try this next time you're sipping a chilled cocktail). This one has always been a personal favorite of mine, if only for the very thought of those tutu-wearing prima ballerinas taking part!
**If ballerinas danced in dresses**, **Instead of all those awful messes** **We could all enjoy them better** **No matter if we're rich or a beggar!**
Now, where was I? Oh yes! Tutus. Now, you can tell all of your very best friends to wear their very own fabulous, colorful creations, the fluffier the better, as they get together, take their cue, and dance away for all of you out there.
As for me, my dears, well, Iām happy to keep my dancing shoes and my fabulous ballet moves, wellā¦ to myself, for now. I shall not succumb to the tempting lure of a tulle tornado. I shall not allow myself to get caught up in the swirl of that frivolous fashion. (That was a very eloquent statement, wouldnāt you agree?)
Besides, as for myself? Oh my dears, you know my little secret! I am not afraid to make my own rules in my very own fashion-forward world, and when you want some fashion advice, you always know who to come to! So donāt ever forget.
Until next time! I'll be taking my time choosing what my next fashionable, and absolutely frightening, post will be. And be sure to come back and see what new shenanigans we get up to! I am never far from the world of fashion and I just know I will have some brilliant ideas. We need a big change! Or maybe a few.
Until next time!