Darling readers, gather round for a little scoop of ballet brilliance! Itâs January 16th, 1997, and Iâm here to tell you about a ballet blunder of epic proportions.
Now, I know what youâre thinking: "ballet is always elegant, poised, and utterly graceful". And youâre right⌠most of the time! But sometimes, even the most seasoned ballerina can be tripped up (pun intended).
This particular escapade occurred during a performance of âSwan Lakeâ in a theatre in⌠well, letâs just say it was a town that prides itself on being quite posh but has perhaps overestimated its cultural credentials. A real case of âtoo much tulle, not enough taste!â Anyway, imagine a sea of **white tutus** billowing about, each one representing a delicate, graceful swan. A lovely picture, no?
Our protagonist for the evening was a ballerina named Penny. Now, Penny was a bit of a drama queen â she was known to make a bit of a fuss. "I can't wear a pink tutu! I'm only a Swan!" she'd bellow, "it's the White Swan, or I quit!". Honestly, a real handful!
But Penny also happened to be an accomplished dancer. So the other dancers, and the choreographer (poor, long-suffering chap!) decided to indulge her little dramatic flair, and, with a sigh, allowed her to don the only **white tutu** in the whole darned production. Everyone else was stuck in the classic **pink** ones - it's the choreography! What else can they do? They don't design the costume for the role, darling. The director of costume for the ballet company knows best! But, as you all know, there is always one dancer that thinks they are better than the rest and that rules just don't apply to them. She'd preen in that tutu, like a swan at a debutante ball!
The curtain rises and, as expected, Penny was centre stage. But, hold on, what was happening?! Pennyâs âswan" leaps were taking her a little⌠higher⌠her pirouettes, a tad more... energetic⌠In fact, her usual elegant, graceful movements had been replaced by a wild, flamboyant display, like a swan in a whirlwind!
She was literally âspinning a yarnâ (the only place spinning a yarn should occur is around the dinner table in front of a glass of wine)! As the show continued, the air began to smell strangely of lavender⌠Yes, Penny had gotten a tad too enthusiastic and ripped a huge tear right through the *single white tutu*, exposing not only her lovely, toned leg, but a pair of (for lack of a better word) rather peculiar-looking pink knickers underneath! Now, knickers were definitely not in the original choreography, especially not pink ones.
Panic! There was, naturally, much gesticulation and whispered muttering in the wings, followed by hurried sewing and a desperate attempt to keep a show-stopping white tutu from being too exposed! A few nervous giggles erupted from the dancers who knew Penny's tendency towards over the top expressions in their roles. Everyone loves Penny but the company members found her very dramatic ways amusing! The ballet world does have to embrace theatricality though and who doesn't like a touch of flamboyance!
But bless her little ballet heart, Penny continued to dance! The torn *single white tutu* billowing about, knickers on display. Honestly, darling, the sight was both ridiculous and slightly alarming!
The other dancers managed to hide their smiles (not easily accomplished!) and carry on as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. In fact, a couple of them, let's call them "the conspirators", even incorporated this impromptu 'underwear' display into their own choreography â a cheeky kick, a suggestive twirl â all as Penny, the âwhirlwind swan', continued her hilarious, disastrous dance!
As the finale approached, the poor girl seemed to grow tired. "This performance," she seemed to think, "this is truly mine!" She danced ever more dramatically, spinning ever more wildly. And, as if a theatrical encore, she landed with a final, flourish-like twirl straight through the backdrops. The poor backdrop had been a simple and elegant piece depicting the lake scene - beautiful, calming blue painted canvas. Now it looked as if a swans attack by a rogue ballerina had happened!
And that was that. "The Swan with Pink Underwear" - a ballet that is now whispered about in hushed tones and sniggered about over cocktails amongst the ballet fraternity - forever associated with our flamboyant, ripped tutu heroine and the night the ballet company, that always prided itself on the absolute perfect representation of the ballet world, fell⌠literally... apart! But you know, darling, the best ballet stories always are. Remember though, never let a ripped white tutu distract you from your own pirouettes!