Ballet Bombshell! Tutu Troubles Rock The Royal Ballet!
Good evening, darlings! It's me, your girl, your ballerina buddy, here with a news flash so scandalous it would make even the most graceful of swans look like a clumsy goose. You see, it's been a tempest in a tutu cup at the hallowed halls of the Royal Ballet, and let me tell you, it's all about those **divine**, those **perfectly-whipped**, those **pink** and **white** creations - you guessed it - tutues!
It appears that some of our darling, dainty ballerinas have been suffering a series of **tutue-related traumas**! Imagine, the unthinkable - a ballerina’s wardrobe malfunction! It’s all so shocking, I just had to spill the beans.
It all began this morning, just as the sun began to sparkle, a shimmer of delicate, rosy tutu fluttering, you know how it is, in that perfect kind of way that says, "Look at me, I am art! I am the epitome of elegant, refined, classical beauty! " Well, darling, imagine my horrified gasps when the entire thing - yes, the whole, divine tutu - disintegrated into a heap of feathery frills and debris just as the prima ballerina, Miss Perfect-Everything - oh, the irony - was about to execute a daring fouette sequence!
Oh, my dears, you would have thought the house lights went out. Imagine the collective gasp from the audience - like a thousand pearls were being held hostage in a sudden air current. I nearly fainted myself. Apparently the backstage crew has never quite mastered the delicate balance between the frilly fluffiness that’s all too-sweet and the toughness needed for a triple pique - that’s some hardcore dance move! And it's not like there are just some plain tutus that no one will notice! Oh darling, no! You see, these are the coveted tutus that you can only imagine would grace the world's most luxurious fashion runway!
It gets worse. The tulle in a white tutu on Miss Always-Gets-It-Right, let’s just say, began a performance piece of its own! This is bad - we all know how much those perfectly smooth tulle gowns like to shimmer under the spotlight, especially the ones the fashion designers have created from the finest silks! But this was no ordinary show; this was a serious performance and there was no way that the prima could be doing a ballet number in an outfit that had taken a life of its own!
Well, as I said, my dears, it was like something out of a dream. Miss Always-Gets-It-Right's white tutu became a creature of its own, and this is what happens - and it happened, just as if you knew how much of a drama queen I am, it started to flutter and twirl, I almost fainted because I just imagined this tulle being like, 'It's my show time! I'm the star!'' Well, darling, just imagine what she had to deal with; all eyes were on her as this tulle went, oh let's say 'rebellious', with its own moves! Imagine the drama of a tutu getting its own choreography! Oh, and it’s not even the ballet teacher’s choreographic moves, that’s the real tragedy here! It's the tutu's version of 'I was meant for the stage', I guess that's how I will translate that into dance lingo.
Then came the real shocker, Miss "Can't-Stop-This-Woman-She-Can-Dance", you know, that ballerina who knows her dance moves, well, her entire, beautiful leotard had decided to give up and slip down, the horror! Imagine, darling! And as if that wasn’t enough, a poor little corps de ballet member - all of one foot away from doing a stunning grand jeté – suddenly had to stop - oh, the indignity of it! Her lovely, light, blue tutu suddenly turned into a heavy ball of fluffy nothingness right in the middle of a delicate arabesque, as if a rogue gust of wind had decided to pay a visit.
Oh my dears, it's a scandal! And here is what is really causing the commotion. A famous London fabric supplier, a darling man called Roger (all those years of being in this fabulous ballet world gives me an affair for a good name for our stories, you see - this just seems to fit! And I don't have any clue whether he has been called Roger since the 80s but it just seems to suit all this!), I have to give credit, you see he always delivers those high-quality tulle in pink and white that make the tutus oh so beautiful! Roger claims the reason the tutus had this horrible behavior, this 'rebellious', 'show offy' behavior as he described it (Roger has a wonderful sense of humour and he can't resist making fun, we do so love our witty, fabulous London fashion suppliers! ) that he has used this 'amazing new ingredient' - which he won't disclose! Darling, don’t you just love a mystery, especially when it is about gorgeous tulle - but now the news of his fabulous fabric has gone viral! I know because darling Roger is telling everyone!
You would have thought it was fashion week - except for the fact that all the fashion was a ballet tragedy, or maybe it was just my heart breaking because I was trying so hard to understand why, oh why was it all so perfect yesterday! But in the true fashion of ballet - always ready for a change - this morning the fashion designer at the Royal Ballet had to think quickly on her feet, literally. You see my darling, our beloved Roger - it's funny that a fabric supplier can become everyone's darling - decided to offer a new solution - well actually he only knew that it would work when he offered this one up – to get the dancers back into the stage – so, oh the scandal, he called up his fashion suppliers, you know, we all have a team of fashion designers on our speed dial, the ballet fashion designers can just say 'fabric is not working!' - and we are just waiting for those fashion designers to run into a boutique with their latest inspiration! It seems like that’s exactly what the fashion designer of the Royal Ballet did this morning; she called all of her friends in fashion and, voila - just like magic - she came up with the new solution – those darling little fashion fairies, or maybe they were more like 'super fashion designer power teams'! So, she pulled out the grand fashion designers - and no, this was no 'designer' from the local dress shop, I'm talking high fashion people and you can tell because - well, darling they got it! The latest in fashion innovation has made its way onto the ballet stage. It appears we have a 'revolutionary' design – if you asked my personal opinion. They have made tutus that have ‘microchip tech’ - and yes darling it does sound ridiculous - but it seems to work and we do need all of the fun and fancy technology we can get.
And oh my, you would have seen all the drama, the scandal - what would we do without scandal in the world of dance? They said that the new tech is a real 'game-changer’ for all the ballet people in the world! The dancers in the Royal Ballet are going crazy with excitement about this!
Now, all the ballet dancers will have no worries that the tutus and leotards are going to suddenly decide they have an alternative life as fashion models.
So, the real question now is, oh darling, what next for those tutus? A trip to New York to make the big time and feature at fashion week, a tutu takeover at the Oscars - that would be epic, maybe even a little 'tutu party'? The options are endless. All we can do is wait with baited breath. But whatever happens next, let's just be grateful for all of this entertainment! Stay tuned my darling. As the ballet say, “curtain up!”.