DANCING ON AIR: TUTU TRIUMPH, OR TRAGEDY? Oh darling, let's talk tutus! My favourite topic, right? Now, let's not forget - we're talking fashion here. I mean, can you even call a leotard with a skirt a 'tutu'? It's just a pretty bit of fabric - a ballerina's costume. I'm just not so sure they can be called 'fashion' or 'trends', even if they do seem to cycle round in a predictable fashion, and yes, some look truly hideous. And then we have some which are absolutely utterly stunning - an ode to the very form, shape, line and flow of our gorgeous human bodies. The *art* of it all. That is what I really do enjoy - that, plus the incredible athleticism and precision of a truly talented ballerina. Let's be honest - they are basically ballerinas - who'd even wear this outfit?! We are at the Royal Opera House. It's 31st August, 1996, and they are just about to raise the curtain for the much-anticipated première of Giselle, starring none other than that lovely Margot Fonteyn - an absolute *legend*! So - I'm sat in my favourite seat in the Dress Circle, and let me tell you - *it is always important to have a favourite seat.* And I must confess, I had given the theatre box office a little *extra* persuasion that my favourite seat was unavailable, so that my friend and I could enjoy some truly special theatre viewing this evening. Let's discuss tutus! The ones for Giselle's friends - a ballet troupe - are rather beautiful, long, ethereal, almost diaphanous, white ones - so demure, pretty and delicate, you know. Then - our little 'Giselle' ( I have absolutely no idea why they would give such a young and untested ballerina a role in *Giselle*) was just not looking at all happy with the new creation which was created, and yes, in a colour, you could only *ever* find in the dreams of a young girl. It is utterly and totally ... pink! A shocking shade, a fuchsia, and very 1980s. If only that 80's dress was available as an outfit in a department store. She wouldn't even look at it. In fact, the ballet staff said that the poor girl couldn't even bear to look at the colour! They'd almost given her the part to the most experienced ballerina, the very wonderful and iconic Penelope Parker! It seemed everyone on stage - the producers, the ballet masters, and especially our little 'Giselle' - had really, really, really underestimated what the audience would feel about pink. I couldn't tell you who was looking the more embarrassed, Penelope Parker (she did manage to retain her position and stay onstage throughout the entire première), or *our little 'Giselle'*! What we can *all* agree upon - it was the pink that *was* *most* offensive and ridiculous. It *was* just the *most* unfortunate shade and colour. Just dreadful, and yes - a little bit on the tragic side. In fact, some would even argue it was the most unfortunate look for ballet in years! And that is very unusual in ballet where they manage to make tutus *all* look utterly ghastly in so many weird, different and downright bizarre styles! So - we knew Giselle's tutu was the main focus for this new première, but that our 'Giselle' was still, very, very 'understated' and 'undeveloped', but it *did* mean she didn't have to face all of that awful, *nasty*, media coverage, you know. That must have made it a bit better - at least until the premiere of Swan Lake. This is all just a premonition of things to come and yes, an even greater *tragedy*, when it happens. I must stop with the word tragedy - I've used it more than twice and I do love a little melodrama - but - tragedy is all too real for ballerinas these days. They are *always* so delicate. Anyway! Back to the first Act - what was really wonderful was the contrast with Giselle's tutu - and how they really used light and movement beautifully. Yes, this was definitely more like a real ballet; an *artistic* event rather than a dance-wear presentation for this new *terrible*, terrible, shade of pink! They truly, truly did do an excellent job and made such wonderful and sophisticated use of the *light* from the top and back, creating *incredible*, dramatic shadow. There is *nothing* more captivating. All was forgiven - if it weren't for Giselle and her... well... **So, here are some facts about tutus: * They are worn by ballerinas who, if not for their skills, are generally well-known and celebrated for the *amount* of times they have been able to do the exact same movements! We call these moves 'tours' and they do 'turns' and yes... well.. 'They do what they're told'! (In my most posh voice). * Most ballerinas wear, in order of favourite to least favourite: - A *classic* tutu - short, pouffy and, most definitely, in *white*. You simply can't *ever* go wrong, although *it can* be slightly difficult to move with that amount of tulle. And sometimes we *have* to see how it works with *a big 'old* hairdo and some truly dramatic *eye-make-up* and those *killer* stilettos they sometimes choose to wear. - A *roman* tutu is something *anyone* can look good in and *it is* quite wonderful for any age - yes, for a long, slow movement, like a waltz, for example. - The next best is what the world calls *a long* tutu - just an absolutely perfect, full and flowing dance-wear classic, in a simple *black* and made of many layers, very like *a very fancy* petticoat. A big one. Very *much* like the *style* worn by Giselle. I simply adore this one. - I also love the short, *black* tutus. So dramatic, sharp and *dangerous* ! - But here's the big news flash - tutus that *are not* in black or white are *never* *a* *success*. So - in my book *pink*, in all its hideous, *dreadful* ghastliness and a most bizarre choice. *pink* should be *forever banned*, especially for ballet, and indeed - all tutus *should* be kept in the colours I have listed - *forever*. Now *this* has got to change, I'm *all* about having *my* say, and you can all rest assured that *I* *will* not be silenced, even when people *look* at me like I've lost *all* *my* *sense* *and* *reason*. I *will* continue to be honest. *Because it's true*, *pink* tutus are *tragic*! In a statement released this morning, the Director General for Dance and Drama has issued this *important* announcement to all *fans*, *ballet* *lovers* and *interested* parties and said *that the theatre* *must* have *the last say on any future and upcoming productions involving tutus. This *is a direct response to* *a most recent investigation and *report*. And, you know what - she is completely and utterly correct! All ballet *is* so serious and *so* tragic at times - and pink is only really suitable for young school girls and - perhaps those dreadful ballet *shoes*. And of course - the other shocking development was Giselle's shocking *eye-makeup* *she chose* to wear - absolutely no thought was given to that little detail at all - a pink tutu would have been acceptable *only* if it *matched* that awful *eye-make-up* which she somehow managed to keep on her entire face *all* *the* *way* through *the whole first act*. It just screamed 'school' - and she didn't look *at all* *pretty*. What *an* *absolute* *disaster* ! Now you have *the inside scoop* - that *no* one dares say - *pink tutus*. That will always, always remain *a major controversy*. Well darling - I will go on. My duty. You just wait and see how much *fun* this new 'ballet scandal' will *all* *be* *when* *it* *hits* the media and fashion pages in tomorrow's press. That *has* been the best *and* *worst* *night* *out* in all of the West End this *season*. I am completely and utterly *excited*. I hope I *can* now make this a *full-time* *career* - being *a* *writer*, *commentator*, and *reporter* on *the world of fashion*, *beauty*, and *the theatre*. Remember! Do stay *chic* - but always, *always* be kind! I must away to *my* *favourite* *hairdresser*. I have *the best* *style* *tips* *you* *could* *want*. See you again *next* *time* *for* *another* *style* *blast* *and* *a * *most* *fantastic* *fashion* *tip* !
