Oh darling, it's finally happened! After all these years of pining over pink tutus and sighing wistfully at the very thought of leotards, I have found a real life "Pretty Woman" moment. You know the scene - when she bursts into that ritzy store all flustered and confused? Well, honey, replace "store" with "ballet class," "confused" with "terrified" and "flustered" with "sweaty as hell" and you'll have me to a tee.
Yes, I know what you're thinking, a dance enthusiast at 30, hasn't this ship already sailed? But let me tell you, darling, my journey into the world of ballet has been more whimsical than an "Alice in Wonderland" tea party! Just imagine, the day started like any other - I was on the Tube (no, I'm not "getting down on the train" but you're free to envision me attempting some sort of ballet-inspired move - ha!)
Then BANG! My phone buzzes, "Dearest you, we're meeting for cocktails and cocktails ONLY, at The Ritz!" From my best friend (who just HAPPENS to be the chicest woman I know) you see. But before I even contemplated what footwear to wear for this soirée, I realised it wasn't "Cocktails at The Ritz" she'd said - NO! It was "Cocktails AND Ballet at The Ritz!"
Talk about a fashion faux pas! I frantically rummaged through my bag for something remotely resembling an outfit for a class that involved graceful movements (not "graceful movements", but you know what I mean!) In my defence, it WAS a VERY important night, and the only option I had was my favourite, bright, pink T-shirt with a large sparkly dinosaur emblazoned across it! Now, you might say, "Well, it's just ballet, not the Wimbledon finals". You're RIGHT. However, this was no ordinary ballet class, my lovelies - oh NO! This was "ballet class at the Ritz!" (The italics, are, naturally, a little tongue in cheek, since The Ritz is known for elegance - an environment which I may or may not have initially ruined)
After the tube ride, (during which, I attempted my VERY first arabesque – imagine, a sweaty pink t-shirt with a sparkling dinosaur, and I'm thinking I look like something out of "Jurassic Park!" ), we arrived, at The Ritz! My friends were waiting for me, giggling, their beautiful ballerina attire sparkling. The kind of thing you only dream about! You know the scene in "Pretty Woman" when Julia Roberts walks into that dress shop? She's got this wide-eyed wonder look that mirrors how I felt entering that ballroom at The Ritz. It was, frankly, magical. And no, darling, I didn't walk into the class room "wearing my dinosaur t-shirt".
In the spirit of the Ritz, I found myself, dressed (quite wonderfully) in a white tutu! Yes, darling, you read that right - a real, proper tutu! (My dinosaur shirt stayed snugly tucked in my bag, and trust me, my inner child wasn't the least bit sad.) And do you want to know something incredible? I had the most fun, giggling at myself (especially during attempts at a grande jeté - picture it, if you will, a sweaty dinosaur tee shirt and the Ritz Ballroom) whilst a wonderful ballet teacher patiently guided us - with the best of humoured aplomb!
But darling, here's the kicker: you think you can just show up at The Ritz wearing a pink T-shirt and sparkly dinosaur and NOT receive a bit of gentle ribbing? Oh darling! My friends made sure I was constantly being reminded of my initial outfit. I may have been surrounded by swan lakes, and gracious arabesques - but this particular swan ( me) just couldn't fly - without an entertaining laugh track (thanks to my hilarious crew.)
My darling friends - you'll have to take my word for it - I will forever treasure this memory! From the first moment of panicked confusion when I almost made the ultimate fashion faux pas, (don't even get me started on those little ballet shoes that you squeeze into) to that final elegant plié at the end of the class (or let's be honest, an embarrassing but funny wobble) - everything was absolute magic! Even the part where, (and here I am being brutally honest) I could barely manage a tendu! If ever I thought that dancing at the Ritz might just be a tad beyond my capabilities, (don't get me started on the chandelier and that one really very very fancy toilet!), I would be SO very wrong!
Oh my! The memories are flooding in! What is better than having cocktails, followed by an hour of balletic whimsy? That would be, my dears - absolutely nothing. And now that I think about it, wouldn't you say a T-shirt with a sparkly dinosaur would look awfully fine with a white tutu! (Don't tell the dance teacher). My friend and I are already discussing the possibilities for our next trip!
There's always room for a little mischief, right? Or are those tutus looking extra sparkly now? Oh my, this is what we all want, isn't it, a touch of glamour and magic in our everyday lives? Darling, this news item doesn't just go to show that it's never too late to do ballet (yes, darling, even with a sparkly dinosaur), it also proves that we can find a bit of wonder even in the most unexpected places!
Just wait for the photos. Oh the photos!