**26th September, 1996** - Darling, let's face it, ballet is a glorious spectacle. We can’t all be as flexible as a pretzel, but we can at least enjoy the sheer artistry and dedication of these exquisite dancers, right? But I do find it rather funny - a touch camp, dare I say - to see these statuesque, beautiful beings pirouette and chassé across the stage in those, well, shall we say, **eye-catching** outfits.
Seriously, imagine: You're working hard in the studio, pushing your body to its absolute limit. You've poured your heart and soul into this demanding art form, learning each movement, each leap, each gesture with meticulous precision. Then - **BAM** - you're wearing what is essentially a frilly, frothy, and frankly, *somewhat* impractical costume! Now, I know a ballerina’s tutu is *designed* to create a visually captivating effect. And I am certainly *not* downplaying the immense amount of work and dedication that goes into ballet! But when I see those swirling, graceful limbs, those delicate movements, and that beautifully contorted human body ...and then *this*?
Here are a few of my *thoughts* that just come to mind, darling.
- The little pink or white tulle ones? Darling, I mean, let's be honest, they wouldn’t be very practical for the Tube! It would take some *serious* juggling to get to Covent Garden with all that fluff around you!
- I do love the **dramatic flair** a tutu brings. They create a wonderful spectacle! But you have to wonder about the practicality. If you're going through all that hard work to get those moves perfect, the last thing you want is for your outfit to impede you, isn't it?
- And leotards - what a sartorial masterpiece of the ballet world! But... really, aren't we just glorifying, what shall we say, *gymnastic wear*? Don’t get me wrong, those sparkly designs are dazzling! But sometimes they do feel rather like ... what, the kind of ensemble one would sport in, let’s call it ‘indoor training’?
Now, don’t get me wrong, darling. Ballet dancers are as courageous as they are graceful, and they embody an exquisite kind of athleticism! What's truly amazing is the combination of power and precision needed for such delicate and seemingly effortless movements! But you've got to admire those women who conquer gravity, *and* make it look **breathtaking** in something so...let's just say... *form-fitting*.
After all, ballet wouldn’t be what it is without the theatrical element of costumes and that fabulous spectacle they create! But, I must say - for those who've never witnessed a ballet performance, there is an undeniably humorous element to it all. It is truly fascinating to watch these athletes - **goddesses** in their own right! - gracefully flit across the stage with these captivating tutus - *oh, darling, these* **amazingly elegant* tutus! - that, really, seem just a touch impractical, and... maybe even *slightly* silly? I can't help but imagine the ballet classes being much *more* effective if the teachers replaced the tutus with practical, sporty attire! But who would *ever* want to replace the iconic image of a ballerina in that iconic tutu, isn't it?
So, whilst we do *adore* the spectacle, we can also have a chuckle - a nice, **refined** giggle, *darling*- at the thought of a ballet dancer hopping about in what are essentially frilly costumes, yes? And let’s face it, you're not going to catch me, darling, trying a *pas de deux* in anything more *dramatic* than my most favourite little black dress!
Anyway, as I always say, if it's making you smile, go for it, darling! Keep up the elegant good work, beautiful, beautiful dancers, *you do you*, - *it's amazing to watch! *But really, wouldn’t ballet *feel* *completely* different if you replaced all those tutus with sporty leggings?
Now, if you'll excuse me darling, I have a rather large collection of ballet books to be dusted! Until next time, *stay chic*. *Ciao for now!*