Ballet goes bonkers!
It’s October 21st, 1996, and the world of ballet has gone completely, utterly bonkers. I don't even know where to begin! You see, there's this rumour swirling around the dance world that someone, *cough, cough* apparently a renowned dancer, has actually worn... dare I say it?... *white* instead of pink! Can you believe it? I mean, it's almost like wearing your trainers the wrong way round! I’m practically gagging just thinking about it! I'm afraid that the horror is spreading faster than a tutu-clad troupe during their final curtain call.
The question everyone’s asking is... why white?! What are we even supposed to make of it?! We are not, for one single second, denying that it can look… *elegant*… on the right frame and under the correct lighting... But... darling, come on, you don't even want to try and argue that white is as classically graceful as a perfectly-pressed pink! *Gasp!* Are these rebels in tutus? Is this the dawn of a new ballet revolution?
Look, you just can’t expect to get away with shocking the ballet world in such a way, especially this late in the 20th century. We have seen the rise of *dancers* rather than *ballerinas*, we've even seen the *en pointe* go from "pointy toes only, darling," to *ballet sneakers*. However, **white tutus?** It’s enough to make seasoned critics have a serious existential crisis, and trust me, honey, that's really saying something!
Apparently, it’s been rumoured this shocking spectacle all started in…wait for it...*Paris*! Honestly, we've always known the French are a little...*different*. (We *do* have a rather lovely Queen, bless her cotton socks!) And *don’t even get me started* on how many pairs of white tutus could even be available. That's enough for all the top dance houses in Europe, darling! We are practically on the precipice of a white tutu war! Will this become the fashionista ballet look? I for one, hope not. Honestly, if these French dare to impose this horrifying fashion faux pas, then they better prepare for the onslaught of furious British critics and ballet buffs, and even more important, prepare to face my *personal* fury. They should probably run a full-page article in "Dance International," to be sure everyone gets the memo on exactly *why* this colour palette isn't *just not done*. You hear me?
Here's a hot tip, darling: I wouldn’t try rocking a white tutu unless you’re ready to handle the consequences. But… hey…if the rebels can rock the **white tutu**, I am so putting down the pink for at least a few hours and getting my paws on one, just so I can be in on this cultural fashion revolution. What's a good fashion queen without the newest trends? And besides... this could make a *fabulously* dramatic fashion moment at the next party! Imagine me stepping in for a graceful *swan* *entrance*. I'm seeing tutus galore!
And if they dare to even think about a *white* leotard… Well… *darling*, it would literally be the end of civilised society as we know it, because you can bet your *ballet flats* on it! That is *definitely* not acceptable!
Just a Few Quick Facts about Tutue-ific Tutus:- They are usually made from *tulle*, which is a lightweight mesh fabric, with some lovely sparkles and sequins.
- They are surprisingly comfy to wear, or so I hear, but it is a tight fit.
- Apparently they do come in all colours, from baby pink to dark brown, even metallic, but, as we all know, nothing beats pink.
- **A white tutu? Seriously! You heard it from me first, darlings. Don't go wild with this one. Stick to pink, for a much more polished look.*
Now if you’ll excuse me darlings, I have to rush off, I need to try to call a few of the *top* names in fashion and beauty to hear their perspective. Let's face it, white ballet tutus *might* be the fashion of the future... or a complete fashion *travesty*, only time will tell. But if anyone is *totally* lost as to how to stay up-to-date with these new fashion developments, then you know who to call. You just need a good old fashioned "fashion intervention". This should make the ballet world far more exciting!
**And don't forget my advice about pink tutus, sweetie.** You know I always want you to look absolutely *perfect*.