Dearest readers, it's your darling Dolly Dimple here, back with another scoop hot off the presses – or should I say, hot off the pointe shoes! The world of ballet, darlings, is buzzing, and not just because the studio is usually about as warm as a penguin's bottom on a frosty day. No, the chatter is all about tutus, and not just any old tutu, darling, pink and white, the colour of dreams and the shimmer of a ballerina's heart, and it all started, oh so magically, on 09 November 1996.
Imagine, if you will, the hallowed halls of the Royal Ballet. Imagine, the most esteemed ballet company in the land, with their impeccable grace, their effortless poise, and their tutus, oh their magnificent tutus, swirling around them like a cloud of pure joy. Suddenly, a commotion. Whispers ripple through the audience. Is it the Queen herself, popping in for a quick pirouette? Is it a rogue swan escaping from Swan Lake?
No, darling, it was worse – or, rather, better, depending on how much you love a good gossip! Two ballerinas, their delicate little noses twitching with indignation, their bun-less heads bristling with outrage, began to clash, right there, centre stage, in the midst of their 'Swan Lake' pas de deux! Their weapons of choice? Their tutus. Now, the first rule of tutu etiquette, as I'm sure you all know, is: you do not mess with a fellow ballerina's tutu. The colour, the fabric, the fluff – it is sacrosanct, it is holy ground, it's basically the Eiffel Tower of ballerina dress! But this, dear reader, was war, a true, true tutu-tastrophe!
Let me tell you all about it. Our first diva, the fiery flame of the stage, the exquisite Evangeline, wore her favourite tutu - a pristine white, fluffy enough to be a small white cloud, and frankly, fit for a swan queen in the sky. The other diva, the glamorous goddess, the divine Delilah, was, to quote my granny, as ‘bright as a button’ in a breathtaking hot pink tutu. I tell you, darlings, it was an explosion of feminine colour, the pink the shade of a cherry popsicle and the white as white as... well, white, very, very white.
So, what caused this showdown, this tutu tango, this ballet battle royal? Well, as I said, the source of the furore was the tutus. You see, they weren't just any old, tacky shop-bought, supermarket-special, polyester disasters - oh no, they were custom made, the height of tutudom, made with silk that whispered secrets of fairylands, and netting that twirled like moonlight on a pond. A dream for every dancer and a designer’s nightmare.
Now, darling, you just don’t waltz into a performance wearing a £50,000 couture tutu and then expect it to stay pristine - let’s just say you should have seen Delilah's reaction when she caught a glimpse of her fluffy masterpiece graced with a ‘swan’s wing-sized’ stain of black dye, the result of a mis-placed foot, a little too enthusiastic landing, and one extremely unfortunate bit of rogue lighting (that’s how I see it, anyway). Evangeline went crimson with indignation at this dreadful accident, and it seemed there was no reasoning with the ladies! Poor Delilah was adamant that a little bit of dirt didn't make her tutu 'less pink’, while Evangeline insisted that only ‘the pristine, white clouds of her tutu’ were fit for the swan queen and her tragic demise on the stage.
So what happened, you ask? What did our swan queens do? Did their fight become a ballet showdown, an art-world battle with pointe shoes instead of fists? Well, they wouldn’t have wanted the Queen of England to miss their grand display! They knew a good audience loves a little bit of dramatic flair and that everyone deserves a good gossip and a story about ballet royalty at war. So, after a lot of stamping, a fair bit of fluff-flung fury, and several intense stare-downs, the ladies eventually decided to swap tutus in a scene straight from the ballet 'Black Swan’ or better yet ‘Swan Lake'.
That's right, darling! Delilah and Evangeline became unlikely sisters-in-silk, swapping tutus right there, in the middle of their big, beautiful swan dance. The ballet performance went on. There were still tears, a few shaky turns, and maybe one or two slight wardrobe malfunctions as the two dancers struggled to get the hang of wearing their ‘new’ tutus. But they danced, they soared, they shone, and it became, in its own messy, glamorous way, a triumph! After all, there's no drama, no feminine frenzy, no fashion faux-pas that can't be fixed by a well-chosen tutu, and who cares if it is a little bit ‘stained with passion’. The world of ballet is truly fabulous!
Remember, darlings, the story of Evangeline, Delilah and their swan-tastic ballet battle on that night in November is a reminder: a) ballet is truly theatrical (in a good way of course). b) the perfect tutu is an absolute power-house and can lead to the most amazing chaos. And c) never underestimate a ballet dancer's love for a bit of drama, fashion, or the perfect colour of pink! So, darling readers, take a note and learn from their graceful grace, their graceful fight, and the brilliance of it all, and be ready to make your mark. It doesn't have to be a stage, it doesn't have to be ballet. But always make your mark with a flair that shines, whether it’s in pink or in white, whether you have on a pair of dance shoes, a sharp suit, or simply a smile! Go out and spread the love - and, dare I say, some stylish mayhem.
And, don’t forget to share this fabulous news with the world, my lovelies.
Love,
Dolly