**Oh, the indignity!** My darlings, prepare yourselves for the latest scandal to rock the world of ballet, a scandal that involves a colour - *gasp* - so passé, so, dare I say it, *unfashionable* - that I simply can’t keep quiet any longer! Yes, dear readers, it seems that some unfortunate souls in the world of professional ballet have been seen sporting a garment so outdated, so last century, it should have been buried under a pile of dusty velvet costumes by now. You guessed it – it's *pink*. Pink, the colour of the forgotten fairy tales and 1980s Barbie dreams, has infiltrated our beloved art form!
The culprit? None other than the nefarious Royal Ballet Company in London! A group of unimaginative, let's call them 'vintage', ballerinas dared to twirl and leap in a performance of 'Giselle', their tutus a sickening shade of bubble gum, making the whole production look like a scene from the 'Princess Diaries' sequel we never needed! And this isn't the first time these unfortunate creatures have sullied our eyes! According to insider sources, *white* tutus have also been spotted – an unforgivable act of artistic sacrilege!
Imagine the shock and horror. Just as I was about to write my treatise on the artistic merit of silver sequins and black tulle, a whisper of *pink* reaches my highly attuned ears. I can only picture the poor, misguided ballerinas in their pastel-hued garments, all dainty pirouettes and uninspiring artistry, desperately clinging to the past while we, the enlightened ones, dance forward with confidence and contemporary grace in shades of midnight blue and sleek black.
**Let's break down the fashion faux pas here, darlings:**
- **Pink? Really?** The very thought makes me shudder. Pink is the colour of a baby’s cot, not the delicate, ethereal world of ballet. Where are the rich hues of sapphire, emerald, and ruby? Where are the bold statements that command the stage and whisper of a modern, sophisticated, 21st century sensibility? These pink garments are as dated as Grandma's old fur coat and equally tragic. The Royal Ballet company, the most renowned and respected of them all? *Surely*, you are laughing along with me. Or are you?
- **White tutus?** Don’t even get me started! This trend is so utterly passé that even the dust mites are cringing. A stark white against that stark stage is an unforgivable act of theatrical negligence. The very mention of it brings back memories of a bygone era, an era of pouffed up, unsophisticated ballet, devoid of any true artistic spark. Let us never speak of it again, darlings!
- **A Plea For Modernism:** I urge all my dear dancers to embrace the modern. Take inspiration from the dynamic, ever-evolving fashion world. Ditch the dullness of the past. We live in an era of bold hues and statement-making looks. Throw some sequins on, unleash your inner fashionista, and make a daring splash with vibrant blue, elegant charcoal, a daring crimson or a luminous silver - the possibilities are endless. Just please, my darlings, promise me this – no more white or pink tutus! We can’t go backwards!
In a world saturated with the bold, the new and the daring, clinging to the colours of yore just doesn't work. As I always say, darling, the world of ballet, just like fashion, is all about making an impression. And when you’re clad in pink or white, well, that impression is decidedly unfashionable and sadly, unmemorable. This year, let us dare to be bold and let the ballet world see the colour – *literally!* – of our confidence, style, and undeniable glamour. And just you wait and see how dazzling our modern, bold new era of ballet is going to be!