Oh darlings, can you believe it? Itās 19th May 1997, and the world is simply positively *bursting* with tutus. It seems the entire globe has woken up this morning and collectively decided itās *time for a twirl*. Youād be forgiven for thinking a giant tulle factory exploded last night! ?
Iāve just arrived at the office (well, the *studio* really, itās hard to resist being dramatic in this fabulous outfit!), and my darling assistant, Bob (yes, *Bob*) has been buzzing about this tutu madness all morning. Honestly, youād think heād never seen a feathered boa before. Heās never exactly been a ādance devoteeāā¦ though his *faux pas* the other day - arriving in his pyjamas with his slippers, insisting that this yearās *ballet season* was just too "slippy and slidey" to bear! He does try! Bless his cotton socks.
The Headlines
Anyway, I do feel the *tutu frenzy* warrants a proper *look-see*, donāt you? And who better than *yours truly*, the resident ballet authority (or maybe, just the one who wears a *ballet bun* on the regularā¦)?
Iāve scanned the morning papers, and here are the most captivating headlines:
- Tutus on the Streets! Forget about that ghastly old āwear it on your head, on your toes, on your fingers...ā Tutus were actually sighted worn as *top-wear*, *coats*, and even *a belt*, (imagine a *denim jacket*, with a *fluffy tutu belt* - divine!)! You just canāt make it up, darlings. The streets of *New York, London*, and *Paris* were the scenes of sheer *tutu chaos*!
- Tutus in Parliament! A bold statement from the Labour party. Youād have to be a right *daft* chap not to be at least *intrigued*, when you see a line of dapper gents looking as though they were plucked from a *Victorian ballet* - those *full length skirts* they sported (all white! All white!), paired with some fine, *crisp tuxedos*. And yes, that includes the Prime Minister (all business, all the time). Apparently, a ācultural shift in *fashion*, to promote *more understanding* and *tolerance*ā (ooh, big words!), is to be commended! Well done lads! ?
- Tutus in the Markets! They were everywhere you looked (though, of course, no one wore the *classic tutu*, in, like, the *produce section* - good lord, itās only for those *very particular* places! And it seems this āTutu Trendā had everyone *invested* (sorry, couldnāt resist) ! The *Stock Exchange* went a bit crazy (which is actually kind of *cute* , *isnāt it?* ) There were ā*Tutu Futures*,ā " *Tutu Options*ā, - oh darling, thereās even a whole, entirely new *sector* called *ā TutuTech*ā . Who would have thought it could all boil down to *one* little (but incredibly *dramatic*) piece of fabric. And what a statement it is - bold! daring! revolutionary! ( I like to think this is our *revolution*. The **revolution** *we've* *been* *waiting for*!).
Well, as *they* say (and, you *know* *they* always do) "The World is Our Stage!" And we just keep getting more fabulous *props*, every single day! What an absolute *miracle*, isn't it?
Speaking of props, did anyone else hear those *divine* sirens on *The Strand* earlier? Thereās something wonderfully *exciting*, something that fills me with *joy* to my *very* *core* (you know how I *am*), when you can't actually tell if those *whistles* are coming from *cars*, *trains* or the *ballet studio* down the street! Now thatās *modern life* for you!
Off I go. A meeting with my costume designers is calling - thereās something very *tutu- esque* about a **royal** *blue* gown I have in mind (if I could be *a bit* more *dramatic* than a royal *blue*, itād be **heaven** ) *Sigh*. Well, itās just another day in *my* *world*, I suppose! ?