Darlings, I simply can’t believe it! It’s the 24th of May, 1997! Did you know, just last week I was at a fabulous dinner party at Claridge’s and, guess what darling? Someone even wore a tiara! Anyway, the whole week was a complete whirlwind! We went on a fabulous boat trip on the Thames. I don't even want to know how much a glass of champagne cost, darling, but it was certainly the perfect way to relax with the best view of the city. Anyway, this week the news has been positively *bananas*, or perhaps more like… a *tour en l'air*!
I simply *have* to tell you about this extraordinary story, it really is simply *divine*! The *Daily Mail* - you know, the newspaper that’s a *little* too obsessed with celebrities - ran an article, right, about the "Tutu-ment" of ballet shoes and the *terrible* consequences they've had on the feet of young dancers. Apparently, the shoes make your feet all "bunyony" and "warty." Oh my heavens, it’s an absolute *horror story*, isn’t it? Apparently, dancers even have to “special” tutus and leotards to “make their legs look longer."
I have to admit I do think there’s some truth to that one, don’t you darling? After all, you know, we all love a nice little visual illusion every now and again, don't we! So, I have to admit I was simply *thrilled* to hear about a new line of ballet shoes – called “Dance Divas” – that claim to solve these terrible “Tutu-ments!” They promise “buns of steel” and “legs for days” all while keeping your feet, you know, "normal." Can you believe it darling? Imagine, the most exquisite ballerinas dancing their little hearts out and having healthy, “normal" feet – it really is revolutionary.
The paper said that “Dance Divas" shoes are made with this wonderful new kind of *“revolutionary*” material. Something like "memory foam" that supposedly “moulds to your feet like a second skin," or *some* such thing! Can you *imagine*, darling! The shoes are actually supposed to be quite "cute," like, I think they come in different colors like pink, lilac and maybe even some gold sequins. Now that would be *fabulous*, don't you think, a little touch of glitter never hurt anyone. So many “*fabulous*” details about this “revolutionary” product - darling, this is exactly what the dance world has been needing.
However, here’s the thing: This is where the story *really* gets interesting, or maybe “*scabrous*”, darling! It seems the *Mail* article mentioned a "rival" shoe brand that had an equally “revolutionary” product. It sounds so *dramatic*, right? Anyway, apparently, there are all these, *ahem*, let’s call them “less than polite” comments about these rival shoes – I think someone even called them “old-fashioned,” how *un-refined*.
I'm telling you darling, I read all about it and apparently there’s a *terrible* “ballet shoe war” brewing! They say it’s “cut throat,” like, some are even saying these rival ballet shoes will give the "Tutu-ments" to these poor little dancers because they don't provide "enough" support! I’m not sure I believe all that, but, darling, a little drama makes life so much more interesting, don’t you agree? And who would want "old-fashioned" ballet shoes, after all?
It was really all so, so *fabulous* – almost *a scandal*, darling. The *Daily Mail* also said, it was, *rumoured*, that some “big name” ballerina would wear these "revolutionary" shoes in her next performance at the Royal Opera House! That is simply *fabulous*. If that doesn't *cement* these “Dance Divas” in ballet history, nothing will!
Honestly, you know me, I love ballet - it's just the *most exquisite* and dramatic thing ever. I would do *anything* to be as elegant and graceful as a ballerina. Oh, and as for the ballet shoe war – darling, I’m definitely keeping my eye out for that new *revolutionary* shoe, and perhaps I’ll wear my very own “Dance Divas” shoes the next time I go out dancing. I wonder if there’s a *new* "war" between different dance shoes – like tap shoes and jazz shoes - that we need to know about! This might be more exciting than *Diana’s wedding*, I tell you! And that is simply the most "divine" statement, darling.
Anyway, you know I am off, darling, the opera's beckoning! You wouldn't catch me *dead* in any old *ordinary* ballet shoes! And as a little, you know, **hint** dear, I believe "Dance Divas" just sent out a whole range of *tutus* and *leotards*, in the "newest" colors too, but shhhh! Don't tell anyone. But for a quick little “heads-up," you should definitely give them a little look-see, darling, because… well… just you wait and see… They really do make you look *heavenly*. See you all very soon, darling, it's time to twirl and enjoy some champagne at the Royal Opera House.