Ballet Blitz: Tutus Take Over The World!
Well, darling, it's happened again - the tutu-verse has struck! Today, 25th May 1997, the entire world has been inexplicably gripped by a sudden, irresistible urge to twirl, prance, and quite frankly, flaunt our inner ballerina! Yes, I know, you're wondering what I'm going on about. I, personally, woke up with the overwhelming need to put on my very best pink tutu, and you can't possibly tell me that's just *me* today. This is clearly some sort of mass cultural event, darling, an explosion of twirling that knows no boundaries.
And it's not just tutus! It's everything we hold dear in the world of ballet!
- I've heard tell of bankers doing their spreadsheets in pointe shoes, with their little "bourrée" and "sissone" footwork punctuating their reports.
- Our prime minister (in full *leotard* attire!) is giving a speech on the steps of Buckingham Palace about... well, it's not quite clear yet, but I'm certain it's something completely grand. He's certainly delivering it in grand style!
- I can't possibly report on what's going on in France without a "Ooh la la" - Paris has, it seems, entirely given in to the call of ballet! From street vendors doing "arabesques" to shoppers gracefully pirouetting between stalls, the city is quite literally waltzing into a new era.
As I write this, I have the overwhelming urge to just throw this computer aside, leap out the window, and do a "fouetté" down the street. Alas, my dear readers, there's a pressing deadline. (And I really don't fancy falling into a large potted plant that happens to be strategically placed by our lovely downstairs neighbours, a charming yet somewhat stern couple in their late seventies)
Even more incredible, darling, is the fact that everyone, but everyone, is simply rolling with it! Imagine it! Every single person on this planet (apart from the neighbours, obviously, but who are we kidding, I'm sure they're in a secret room doing "en dehors" and "en dedans", and will come flying out into the street, all pink tights and smiling, at any moment now )
And now, I feel a twirling coming on. I must get back to it now. This is going to be a wild day, darling, and, of course, we'll all be the more beautiful for it.