Darling, gather 'round! We have a fashion emergency of the utmost urgency, a veritable **tutu tempest** brewing in the world of ballet!
Imagine my shock, this morning, upon stepping into my favourite Notting Hill cafĂ© - a veritable haven of pastries and chitter-chatter â only to find a scene straight out of a Hitchcockian thriller!
Picture this: Instead of the usual cappuccino-clutching clientele, there was a sea of billowing tulle! The café owner, normally known for his unflappable demeanor, was sweating harder than a ballerina after a demanding pas de deux. And then, a chorus of squealing, shrieking, and even a few "good heavens!" It was a veritable riot of ruffles and rhinestones!
Apparently, a horde of ballerinas, looking more like a gaggle of Victorian ghosts than seasoned dancers, had descended on the café, each one demanding, **"A tutu, I must have a tutu, darling! The bigger, the better!" ** This, my darlings, was no mere fashion whim, no passing fancy. This was an utter, total tut-tu-tude.
But why? Why were the ballerinas abandoning their traditional silk costumes for frothy, billowing mounds of tulle, some of them larger than the average dining table, one of which was adorned with an entire flock of feathered boas?
Iâm afraid the explanation came from the very lips of the reigning diva of the London ballet world, Madame Monique La Belle, who was herself sporting a tutu fit for a marshmallow-covered meringue.
"Dearest," she confided to me, her eyes sparkling with the brilliance of a thousand stage lights, "There's been a **tut-tu-tude adjustment** in the ballet world. Weâre no longer bound by tradition!"
And then, as if in a dream, Madame La Belle began to elaborate on a new school of thought which, apparently, has been sweeping across the ballet world.
It's all to do with a "tut-tu-tude of abundance," dear reader. The bigger the tutu, the grander the dance. "Itâs a celebration of freedom!," Madame La Belle gushed. "Freedom of expression, freedom of fabric! The bigger the tutu, the bigger the emotions it can portray! No longer will the ballerinas be restricted by tight, restrictive garments!"
So, whatâs this mean, you ask? Whatâs the big deal, the fuss? Why the tulle tsunami?
Well, in my humble, fashion-forward opinion, this "tut-tu-tude revolution" will not only redefine ballet, it will also bring a whole new level of drama to any given event. Just imagine, a wedding where the bride enters wearing a tutu made of pure white lace, bigger than the entire bridal party combined! Think of it: A dinner party with guests in a rainbow of tulle! The world, dear reader, is a vast, billowing canvas of endless possibility!
As for my own take on this new wave? My darling, if youâre thinking of incorporating a tutu into your wardrobe, take my advice and consult your best friend. The bigger the tutu, the more it can mask those little fashion faux-pas.
But the most important question, is how does the "tut-tu-tude " movement affect the actual performance of ballet? My darlings, you just wait! This news item, with all its frills and flounces, is just a taste of whatâs to come from the ballet world! Brace yourselves.
However, we did get a couple of pointers from some dancers who have embraced the new "tut-tu-tude:
- You absolutely need a good partner to handle the size of a new "tut-tu-tude" tutu! It is said you might need an entire dance corps! Or a very good stagehand to handle those extra ruffles.
- If you have any pet cats around and theyâre of a mischievous disposition - better lock them up. Theyâre going to go mad for the tulle. It is a true catnip heaven.
- There is always the risk that a ballerinaâs tulle tutu, could be a little on the large side and might get stepped on! No problem, you simply throw more tulle at it to make sure no one sees it.
- Remember to pack an extra hoop for your hula hoop exercises if you are thinking of a âtut-tu-tudeâ tutu. The extra weight of a massive, fluffy tutu is likely to require a very strong hoop and very strong core.
It will be fascinating, to say the least! Just think of the chaos this could create. But, darlings, isn't that what fashion is all about?
You can find more information on the âtut-tu-tude â movement on the new website for it! www. tutu-tude.com. (But donât say I didnât warn you.)
As ever, I hope youâve enjoyed my little peek behind the tulle curtain.