**Oh, the drama! The tears! The perfectly sculpted leaps! It’s a tutu-tastic day, darlings!** Yes, my lovelies, the world of ballet is swirling with excitement, and we're here to spill the tea (and possibly a drop of stage makeup).
It all started yesterday, when renowned ballerina, Penelope Prance, tripped over her own satin shoe in the middle of a performance of "Swan Lake." Let me tell you, the audience went wild, not in a good way, darling. There were gasps, cringes and even some laughter, ahem, I mean the sort of unrefined chuckle you might expect from an uninformed audience member (I’m looking at you, sir, in the front row with your popcorn!)
Penelope, ever the professional, continued, though her face must have been burning the shade of a crimson rose. We are, after all, talking about a prima ballerina, a woman who takes to the stage in a diaphanous white tutu, adorned with glitter that rivals the night sky! We can’t have her crumbling under the pressure! She bravely continued, with graceful slight sway, that might have even been intentional! A perfectly honed performance for the theatrical Gods!
But dear Penelope, she was just the tip of the proverbial tutu, dearie.
The drama of this "Swan Lake" was just beginning! A rumour had been swirling around like a graceful pirouette through the world of dance. I don’t mean a juicy rumour, darlings. A rumour whispered in secret, from behind the curtains, a scandalous secret that could potentially shake the world of ballet. Oh yes, you might even say, that the curtain has gone up on the scandal!
That scandalous secret: the Royal Ballet were thinking about abandoning the beloved pink tutu for, brace yourselves darlings, the terrifying, the horrendous, the... **white tutu**.
I’m almost as flabbergasted as the pigeons in Covent Garden, but I'll confess I do have to admire the daring and the controversial step. A white tutu? Who’d have thunk it? I must say, I’d rather eat my pink tutu with a side of pearls. White tutu's have a strange power, that is if you're talking about wedding dresses. A beautiful bridal satin gown, or a dress on the red carpet, then fine, a white tutu maybe ok!
And while some may find white tutu to be a tad on the boring side, it's an absolutely brilliant statement piece. It's saying, "Look, we're bold, we're experimental, and we're not afraid of change." But the world of ballet? What's the message? Perhaps it's just, 'Well, this was all the fabric we had in the stores! '.
Anyway, whatever the motivation, it is safe to say that this scandal will shake the foundations of the ballet world like an earthquake shockingly, oh, I don’t know, Buckingham Palace! But I'll be watching, my dears, with my popcorn and my Chanel lipstick.
And don’t even get me started on the fact that they've redesigned the leotards to have, *shudders*, stripes on the shoulders! Stripes?! Why?! That's just going to distract from the ballet! Oh the sacrilege! Oh, the horror! Don’t the Royal Ballet, these custodians of all that is beautiful in the art of dance, have some self respect?
There's also word on the street that they've banned the ballerina buns - the glorious, high-flying, ballet bun. Apparently, the new style is just one braid on the top of the head and a messy ponytail on the neck. The horrors! These are like my best girl's school uniforms. Ballet just can’t afford such a radical transformation. Ballet is classic! And this ain’t the classic!
**Here's the low-down:**
- **Pink vs white** – we've heard your cries and we understand!
- **Striped Leotards** - no, darling. The stripes are off! But they are all the rage right now!
- **Hair** - a statement piece for the ballerina, the high ballerina bun will remain.
The ballet world has its own rules, it's a unique kind of society! I suspect, it's not so much of a scandal but just one of those odd stories that is circulating. It could have gone up, blown up in everyone’s face but now it has faded, oh so quickly!
This whole saga, my dear readers, makes me think of a pair of perfectly pointed shoes! You just have to wear them until you've had enough!
For more from the world of ballet you’ll just have to follow this column. Stay tuned!